Are You Editing Your Emotions? How to Stop Masking and Trust Your Own Voice with Alli Gatlin
What if the story you’re telling yourself about how you feel isn’t actually the truth?
In this episode of The You World Order Showcase Podcast, Jill Hart sits down with Alli Gatlin, aka The Menace of Clarity, for a refreshingly unfiltered conversation about identity, authenticity, emotional honesty, and what happens when we stop editing ourselves to fit who we think we’re supposed to be.
Alli shares why we often skip over the actual emotion we’re experiencing and jump straight into creating a logical story about what happened. Sometimes that story becomes something we repeat so often that we stop questioning whether it’s even true.
Together, Jill and Alli explore masking, people-pleasing, journaling and rumination, emotional patterns, boundaries, self-responsibility, and one deceptively powerful question:
What else could be true?
They also bring the conversation into entrepreneurship—because the same patterns that cause us to edit ourselves personally can show up in our businesses. We follow someone else’s blueprint, build offers around what we’re good at instead of what lights us up, or keep doing something that no longer fits simply because it used to work.
You’ll discover why authenticity requires more than “being yourself,” how curiosity can interrupt the stories keeping you stuck, and why you’re allowed to change your mind, change your business, and choose what actually aligns with who you are now.
If you’ve ever felt successful on paper while quietly wondering, “Why doesn’t this feel like me?” this conversation is for you.
https://unmasked.writeugly.com for the assessment tool
https://alligatlin.substack.com
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Transcript
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can be completely honest about how you feel and still not be telling yourself the truth, because somewhere between feeling an emotion and explaining it, we start editing. We soften it, rename it, make it more acceptable, and eventually, the edited version becomes the story we believe.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: How do you recognize when you're processing an emotion versus rewriting it, and what happens when you finally stop editing? Today, we're unpacking how curiosity, masking, and the stories we write about ourselves can either disconnect us from our own voice, or help us find our way back.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hi, and welcome to the You World Order Showcase Podcast, where we feature life health transformational coaches and spiritual entrepreneurs stepping up to be the change they seek in the world. I'm your host, Jill Hart, the Coach's Alchemist, on a mission to empower coaches and entrepreneurs to amplify their voice, monetize their mission, and get visible.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: If you're ready to start attracting premium clients without chasing algorithms or hunting people down like a banshee on a mission, head on over to Coachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit. It's the first step to building a business where your clients seek you out rather than you having to hunt them down. Today, we are chatting with Alli Gatlin. Alli, aka The Menace of Clarity.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Alli is a coach working at the intersection of identity, writing, and branding. Her work helps people recognize the ways they've learned to mask, edit, and perform, who they are so they can reconnect with their own voice, build self-trust, and create an external life that actually aligns with what's happening internally.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Welcome to the show again, Alli.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hello! Nice to have you back.
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::Alli Gatlin: I'm so happy to be back!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, what's the most significant thing, in your opinion, as individuals, we can do to make an impact on how the world is going?
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::Alli Gatlin: Okay, I think last time I answered it in a particular way, and so this time I want to just be even more Menace of Clarity style, and I think it's…
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::Alli Gatlin: My number one house rule, which is don't be a dick.
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::Alli Gatlin: Just, just choose, just don't be a dick.
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::Alli Gatlin: When in doubt?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Find us.
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::Alli Gatlin: just choose, yeah, be kind. You don't have to be nice, because you can pretend to be nice, but choose kindness, and just don't be a dick.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Okay.
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::Alli Gatlin: And as always, stay curious.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: All right, well, thanks for throwing that last part in, because we got someplace to go, because…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think, often, we… We have ideas in our head about what's…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Right? What we're supposed to do, what's expected of us, and we write our lives around that narrative, rather than just being who we are.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What do you say to that?
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::Alli Gatlin: I think that's everybody's biggest issue right now, is so many of us are what I call successful on paper, but then you just feel like crap in real life.
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::Alli Gatlin: Like, you have all the things, but you have just that hollow pit somewhere, or just…
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::Alli Gatlin: there's that tiny little voice, and it's usually… that's usually the one that you've been ignoring. It's like, something's just not right, something's off, or I should be… it should feel like more than this.
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::Alli Gatlin: And… That's usually the view that you've been ignoring for quite some time, and… It comes down to…
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::Alli Gatlin: alignment. You know, people's…
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::Alli Gatlin: are doing what they're supposed to be doing, the… what we've been conditioned to do, right? We are lining up the corporate ladder, or we're starting the business because we're good at this one thing, so we're going to keep doing that thing that we're good at.
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::Alli Gatlin: Not the thing that we love, or the thing that we're passionate about, but just the thing that we're good at, or the thing that makes the most money. And people just get lost in the sauce.
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::Alli Gatlin: And I always say, a man with no sauce is lost, but that same man can get lost in that sauce, and too many of us just get a little bit lost in it. It's okay to do things for money because we live in a capitalist society, and you have to, you know, you have to have some type of cash cow to fund your passions while you're figuring things out. We get that.
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::Alli Gatlin: But what you're not supposed to do is forget all the pieces of you that line you up
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::Alli Gatlin: To live a life that you feel proud of.
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::Alli Gatlin: And so, yeah, feeling successful on paper, just because it's… you're doing the things that you're supposed to do, don't make any sense. Because by the end of the day, you're gonna feel like crap. And if you are successful but feel like crap, are you really successful?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: No.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think so many of us get told which direction we should go in, and even later in life, I mean, you start out, your parents tell you, this is what you have to do, and they really put it that way. It's like, for some of us, not all of us, some of us, you know, grew up with parents that just, like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: ignored us, so we were just like… Out there figuring out…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Where you should go in life, because…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And then there's the other half whose parents were very sure of themselves and sent you in a direction that was totally wrong for you. Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And so, you… you hit midlife, and you're like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: all of this sucks. And then you start hearing about, well, you should just start your own business.
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::Alli Gatlin: Oh, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That sounds like a great idea, but…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Then you end up starting it around what you know how to do, not what you're passionate about.
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::Alli Gatlin: or what you bought that course on, or, you know, you're not following things that line up with you, and that's where the disconnect happens, is people have no alignment. They know… they know internally what they want, but they don't know how to voice it or package it in a way that makes sense to start a business.
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::Alli Gatlin: And so…
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::Alli Gatlin: Instead, they just buy that course, or take that advice, or, you know, take that one class, and then they just put it all together, and then
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::Alli Gatlin: they still don't know what they're doing. You know, sure, you have a business, but…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And they get mad.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They buy a blueprint, that blueprint is not designed for them.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: there's, like, no way in hell they're going to be able to make that blueprint work for what they want to do. Or, they get mad at the person who sold them something.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That was exactly what they said they wanted.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But it really wasn't what they wanted.
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::Alli Gatlin: Did not.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: understand what… What lights them up?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Rather than…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: what can I do to make money? And a lot of people come to the internet, and they're just like, what can I do to make money the fastest?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: sell something. That's…
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah, like, you can see…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Get in front of an audience and sell something. That's… that's the two keys to making money online.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Is it gonna make you happy? Is it gonna burn you out? Are you gonna run into people that are always, like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Bitching at you because they're not happy with whatever you did for them.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because that happens.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That's a lot.
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::Alli Gatlin: Have you experienced that a lot?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Experienced it a lot.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: in what I'm doing now, because what I'm doing now is aligned with who I am and what I want to do, but yeah, I was selling on Etsy, and I was creating other things, and I was really learning along the way. I've done a lot of things online.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: To just make money.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to us.
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::Alli Gatlin: When's going on?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm talking about…
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::Alli Gatlin: too, right? And so, when, you know, before… before I started the community and the podcast and everything that I'm doing now.
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::Alli Gatlin: I have, you know, an almost 20-year career in corporate America, doing sales, you know, everything that I'm realistically still doing, but just doing it in a different way, as well as a lot of HR and things like that.
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::Alli Gatlin: And so, you know, when I first just needed some quick cash, I was doing, you know, resume rewrites and, you know, helping companies just do some, like, quick headhunting and things like that. But one, for me, that feels soulless to me. I hate it. And two.
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::Alli Gatlin: I was dealing with, like, the aftermath of, like, oh, it's this, this, and that, and I'm like, you know, fuck this. I'm just over it. And I gotta practice what I preach, which is being in alignment with what matters to me. And so, that's why I did this shift, you know, over a year ago now. And…
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::Alli Gatlin: Just left all of the corporate stuff behind, and… I… I can't. I can't…
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::Alli Gatlin: I can't teach people how to do something, and then if I'm still then on the back end doing the same exact thing that I'm telling them not to do. And so, yeah, I think too many people jump quickly into, how do I make the most money the fastest? Which, there's still a way you can do that, even aligned with yourself.
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::Alli Gatlin: It's just, you have to work with somebody like you or me. It's like, okay, this is what you're great at doing, how can we turn this into a property that doesn't burn you out? And then also have an exit plan from that so it transitions into something bigger. You know, you don't have to get stuck doing the one thing. It's okay to, you know, have a quick cash grab.
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::Alli Gatlin: If it's aligned, and also, you're not being a dick, right? Like, you're not, like, selling the sizzle without a steak.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, and there was a lot of that that happened.
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::Alli Gatlin: Oh, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I think people are… enough people got burned that people aren't really interested in that anymore. And… and this is going to kind of come back to…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: editing your emotions, but…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I was listening to something Evelyn Weiss put out over the weekend. Actually, she put it out last week in that summit.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: about marketing. And…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Evelyn Weiss, if you don't know who Evelyn Weiss is, she's the person that handles the advertising for the community school, the whole platform over on Meta, and she also has a community on school where she teaches people what's going on behind the scenes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And she talks a lot about low-ticket stuff, and her community is all low-ticket. And she said that she experimented with the high-ticket stuff, and she didn't like how it made her feel, and also because she's an empath.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: She would hold the emotions of all these people that would come at her, or join her high-ticket thing, and it was hard for her.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We all have emotions about things, like, you spend $5,000 on something, you have all of these emotions that are churning around in you, like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: This has got to fucking work.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah.
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::Alli Gatlin: And… One…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And sometimes it doesn't, because it, again, it…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: One blueprint does not work for all people.
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::Alli Gatlin: Well, and that's why, so when you're gonna do a high-ticket offer, I think it's really important
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::Alli Gatlin: That it either needs to be… it's something that's custom, it needs to be malleable.
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::Alli Gatlin: Right? Those high-ticket things can't just be a cookie-cutter thing, because one size doesn't fit all. This isn't the magical world of traveling pants, or whatever that is, you know?
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::Alli Gatlin: we probably don't wear the same size pants, you know? We're probably not going to wear the same size business blueprint.
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::Alli Gatlin: And regardless of whether or not we invest $5, you know, thousand dollars into it. And I think that's the biggest disconnect with some of the high-ticket stuff, as well as, I'm sure you saw, I, just one of the philosophies and methodologies that I incorporate a lot into my work is, like, neurological, like.
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::Alli Gatlin: deep neural repatterning, and so that neuroplasticity and things like that. But a big part of being a practitioner of that is being able to
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::Alli Gatlin: Condition yourself not to hold on to… and to keep yourself a blank slate.
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::Alli Gatlin: And to be able to show up for others neutral.
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::Alli Gatlin: And so you're not carrying that emotion, because it's… it's easy, because if we are empathetic, and we do care about others, then yeah, you want to hold what they're holding.
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::Alli Gatlin: But there's a difference between showing up for them and holding space versus taking on the responsibility of their emotions. And I think that's where a lot of coaches miss the mark, too, because we… we personalize it to ourselves, which we're not supposed to do, because, you know, then we're not also effectively showing up for our clients.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There's… there's a difference between holding space
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And having a client show up, and they're… They're so dysregulated.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That you can't help but have that energy hit you.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah. And… and some people, I think, are more prone to that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Than others, and a lot of them are in the coaching world. It's like, you show up, and you can feel what that other person is feeling, whether they're talking about it or not, whether they have a smile on their face or not, and it's… it's hard.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: they had a bad day, something totally unrelated, and they show up, and you're… you're in that space with them, it's really hard to, like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: For you not to be in that… 2.
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::Alli Gatlin: 100%, and that's why I think that there's… there's a rare few people, and I think you have a really, a great way about yourself to be able to do that, to, like, show up for people and kind of, one, address, like, personal issues with things, because there is always going to be an overlap between your personal life and your business, especially if you are self-employed.
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::Alli Gatlin: And, you know, I think there just needs to take a level of honesty, and that's what you were saying earlier about, like, the story that we tell ourselves and versus what we're trying to put out there. And I think that's where that crossover happens, and that's why a lot of the work that I do
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::Alli Gatlin: Really, really works with folks is because, one.
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::Alli Gatlin: I'm a bit of a menace about it, I'm gonna call you out, like, I think you're fibbing, you know, like, you're… you're full of bologna sauce right now, bud, like, you're… you're… you're lost in the sauce!
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::Alli Gatlin: And it's gonna… you're not gonna be able to focus on this until we handle this. And so, to be able to get that, you know, that repatterning happening, we have to address the first thing that's causing the dysregulation.
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::Alli Gatlin: But… It's one thing to…
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::Alli Gatlin: Acknowledge the dysregulation, and then for the coach to then take on the entire dysregulation portion of it.
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::Alli Gatlin: But to be able to… because another issue, though, is, like, you have one client that's dysregulated, and then you deal with them, but then if you… 5 minutes after that call, you have another one, you didn't give yourself enough time to get re-regulated and show up to this next client with a blank slate.
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::Alli Gatlin: And so now poor client B is dealing with client A's issues, and client B was like, wait, no, I just wanted to learn how to, like.
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::Alli Gatlin: Write an email sequence, what the hell?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, back to Evelyn again.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: She… she solved this problem by having small, snackable.
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::Alli Gatlin: Exactly, so she found what works for her, because she was honest with herself. I mean, she was like, I know I can't handle this. That's… that takes a great level of honesty and bravery to, like… it's brave to be able to say, like, I'm not cut out for this. It's a, like…
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::Alli Gatlin: It is jarring.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you can still have communities where you can show up as you, which is what I really love about having a community.
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::Alli Gatlin: What?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I like the podcast because I can show up on the podcast, and I'm just me. It's really hard to pretend like I'm something that I'm not.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you know.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can see!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Well, most people can see.
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::Alli Gatlin: Not for me.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Who's mostly blind.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: wearing her sunglasses today, her trademark sunglasses.
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::Alli Gatlin: I was gonna actually put them on, but I was like, well, no, I put on eyeliner for this, so…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: -Oh, well, I gotta show us your eyeliner instead.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But communities are kind of the same way. You show up, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can only pretend to be something you're not for so long, or your community just won't grow.
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::Alli Gatlin: Not only that, they'll feel it
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::Alli Gatlin: They'll feel it, and, like, they feel that…
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::Alli Gatlin: there's just… yeah, there's just no concurrency, like, there, like, it's just disingenuous, and it comes… it makes people feel icky, like, they… they start feeling that something's off feeling, and…
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::Alli Gatlin: It's the worst thing you can do. It's much better just to say it as it is.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, show up as you, and… and understand where…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: When we talk about editing our emotions, or rewriting our emotions.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: This… that's a big… it's a big thing in terms of, you know, being authentic, because sometimes
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Emotions can be ugly.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah!
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::Alli Gatlin: Hence the name of my entire methodology, which is the right ugly Method. And, you know, I don't… have you had a chance to use my new unmasking tool?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: No, I haven't.
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::Alli Gatlin: Oh my gosh!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: some format.
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::Alli Gatlin: you are gonna be obsessed. One, you guys should all try it. Go to unmask.writeuglymethod.com. It's amazing. Check it out. It's a free tool that you can use, and then you also get a 7-day free trial with The Village as well, but it is… it's about identifying
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::Alli Gatlin: The difference between what really happened and what you're truly feeling.
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::Alli Gatlin: And… From there, it…
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::Alli Gatlin: you're able to identify, okay, what… what is the way that my… my patterns are showing up for me? Because I know a lot of times for me, like, when I have anxiety, I will get hyper-focused about something, or just… I just… I over-commit to the bit, and I just get so…
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::Alli Gatlin: people-pleasing, helpful, helpful, helpful, helpful. And I realized that that was a pattern from my childhood, like, you know, I started fawning, in a lot of ways. And I was starting to do that in business, too.
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::Alli Gatlin: And that's just when I had anxiety about something completely unrelated to business. I was still showing up in the business sense.
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::Alli Gatlin: in that same, like, 7-year-old girl version of Alli. And those patterns started coming back up for me when, you know, I first left corporate America, and it was something that was kind of new and scary. And I realized that catching myself in those patterns
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::Alli Gatlin: was… My goodness gracious.
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::Alli Gatlin: my guard… my 5-pound guard dog, Cujo, over here,
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::Alli Gatlin: Just kidding, my son just got home, I apologize for that.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah, one moment, please.
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::Alli Gatlin: Hey, Manuel, I'm gonna… I'm so sorry, I didn't know he was going to be home at this time.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You're good. Yeah, we're a family-friendly show.
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::Alli Gatlin: Okay, wonderful. Let me go say hello to my family.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Okay.
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::Alli Gatlin: Not 14!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I don't… I don't think we were recording any of that.
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::Alli Gatlin: Jill!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I have no idea where we left off.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Just realized that.
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::Alli Gatlin: Do you want to ask me again?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna back up to where does masking come into this, and especially for someone who genuinely believes they're being authentic? And…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: just for the audience, what happened was Alli's family came home unexpectedly, and then I paused this, or I thought I paused it, which I probably didn't end up pausing it, and then I thought I started recording it, and it didn't actually end up starting recording. So, in keeping with my normal policy of, you know.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm not editing.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Cuts.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I got a lot to do in my life. I might actually edit this one, but because I don't really remember where we left off, and we've had this really long conversation before I discovered we weren't recording. So, now you're all caught up, and we're going to ask her
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm just gonna back up, and I'm gonna ask you some of these questions, because they're really good questions. When you talk about writing and editing your motions, what exactly are you editing, and when does that editing begin?
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::Alli Gatlin: So I think a lot of times we start editing our motions when we…
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::Alli Gatlin: we're not actually describing the emotion and the physiological emotion that we're feeling, we're describing the feelings, so we have our emotions, our feelings, and the logical story that we tell ourselves about why those feelings happen. We usually skip the emotion
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::Alli Gatlin: And talking about, like, what triggered it, or what's happening to us.
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::Alli Gatlin: Because we want to jump straight to the logic part. So we kind of go, whoop, just right over that hill. And so when we start, like, the dear diary stuff, and that's why a lot of times most people, like, journaling fails people so often.
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::Alli Gatlin: Because they're just ruminating on the worst story that they've ever told themselves, and then they tell it over and over and over again.
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::Alli Gatlin: And that story is usually either making themselves the hero or the victim in something, how someone else wronged them, and which very well may be true, but then it also removes all the parts of it
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::Alli Gatlin: that we have control over. And I think that people forget, I know I have in so many cases.
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::Alli Gatlin: that I play the biggest role in what goes on in my life. And…
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::Alli Gatlin: I usually have a lot more to do with what goes on, than I give myself credit for, and I think that's where a big issue when it comes to being authentic is…
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::Alli Gatlin: not owning our parts of it, though. And authenticity comes with authority, and we have the final authority on what goes on in ourselves, and it's…
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::Alli Gatlin: It's not truly authenticity if you're not owning Each aspect of it.
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::Alli Gatlin: And so when we're writing, especially in our journals, or in our Substack notes, or, you know, on our Twitter, or our Threads accounts, and we're just writing these things, you know, we're writing them just from one angle.
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::Alli Gatlin: And, of course, that's gonna happen, but when you take… just press pause. If you just press pause once or twice more.
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::Alli Gatlin: And ask yourself, what else could be true?
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::Alli Gatlin: you know, what could… what could I be leaving out, or what… what could I be seeing just from my own, you know, skewed lens? And asking yourself honestly, and then answering honestly, and be like, this wouldn't have happened if I didn't do this, or, you know, I played a role in doing X, Y, and Z. And owning that part of it.
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::Alli Gatlin: One, I think people will usually relate so much more to your work. One of my… some of my most popular, you know, notes and posts and things like that that I've shared have been the ones where I'm calling myself out on some bullshit.
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::Alli Gatlin: And people connect with that, because we all… we're all flawed screw-ups in so many ways.
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::Alli Gatlin: that it's nice to see other people do that. Now, I'm not saying this to, like, just bear down on yourself and just be so, like, self-deprecating, but it's an equal balance of shit happens to you in life, and you do a lot of dumb shit, you know? Both things are true.
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::Alli Gatlin: So I think people often forget that those two things can be true.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it doesn't make people bad or good. Correct. I think we try to label I…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: emotions and feelings and just states of being as we process things, as this is good, this is a good way to do it, this is a bad way to do it.
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::Alli Gatlin: stuff.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There is no anything, and every story has a lot of different angles that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Like, I… I have a story from my childhood that is… it is… there's threads of it that are true.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But I don't…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: as a 6-year-old, take into the other pieces of the other person involved in it, what they were going through. Because it didn't happen in a vacuum.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it happened to me when I was 6, but it happened to this person when they were 26. They were still a child, too, and they were dealing with a lot of shit.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Oh, okay.
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::Alli Gatlin: Life is hard!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Life is hard. It's hard for all of us. And when we hold somebody else accountable for…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: for something that happened, A, many, many years ago, and B, even if it happened yesterday, how can we look at
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Whatever happened.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: own what we needed to own about the situation, because, you know, nobody is the little cherub sitting there all the time. We do dumb shit.
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::Alli Gatlin: We're all shitheads, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And we drive people crazy!
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah, we are at best!
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::Alli Gatlin: Mostly annoying, all of us, you know, for somebody.
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::Alli Gatlin: And… it's…
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::Alli Gatlin: it's never fair to just always pigeonhole somebody to being like, you were the reason that this happened, and it is all your fault! Because it's just, I've never, and I mean, I've never…
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::Alli Gatlin: talk to a client or anybody throughout all of my years of life to then be like, you know what, you're right, you're just… you're just the victim, and…
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::Alli Gatlin: You know, and when it comes to, you know, most just generic things, of course, there's always going to be, like, you know, crimes of… things like that that happen, and we're not talking about those things, you know? People that get assaulted, like, those are… yes, you were victimized in that case.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: cycle.
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::Alli Gatlin: That's totally different.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's just totally different.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm mentally ill people.
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::Alli Gatlin: to just, like, the small things in life, right? That… but we have these big reactions, too. Like, how many times have you had a big reaction, and then afterwards, you're like.
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::Alli Gatlin: I think I might have reacted a little bit bigger than necessary for that moment, right? It happens to all of us.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Okay, so the dustpan.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I keep a dustpan down in the hallway.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That leads out to the back door.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And while I was gone for 4 months, and my husband kept this whole house together, and kept all the animals alive, and took care of my plants.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I was mad because he did something with the dustpan, and he didn't know what he did with it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: another dustpan. I mean, it's not like it's my only dustpan. It's just the dustpan that belongs in this one spot, and it wasn't there.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I just was like, sure!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Always moving my stuff!
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::Alli Gatlin: And you just flew off the deep end.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I totally did!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It was… and it was me.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It was my shit.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's like… it's the always and never thing, and we can talk about it, but it still is gonna happen and show up in our lives, and we have to take time and say, you know, that wasn't fair.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah, and, you know, like, that's the thing, like, where could I be wrong in this moment?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: basement.
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::Alli Gatlin: Who's in the bathroom?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I found it a few months later.
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::Alli Gatlin: I'm sure you did, I'm sure you did. But also, right, so what you were really feeling in that moment, it probably wasn't about the dustpan.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: No, it.
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::Alli Gatlin: No, it probably wasn't about the dustpan, it was probably a lot about, you know, having to be gone for those four months, and feeling like things got thrown out of whack for you, and then coming home to your space and just feeling really jarred by a lot of things. It probably wasn't about the dustpan at all, and dealing with everything with your dad, and it was probably just a lot of things.
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::Alli Gatlin: And you had a big physical emotion, and you had to logically give it a place to live.
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::Alli Gatlin: Right? It had to make sense.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I really did.
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::Alli Gatlin: sense.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: An amazing man, because he… he will absorb it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And give me some space, and allow me to apologize.
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::Alli Gatlin: That's beautiful.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It is so beautiful.
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::Alli Gatlin: And probably because he presses pause, right? He presses pause, and like, probably what else?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: This is true.
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::Alli Gatlin: And he's like, he probably thought, like, what could be true in this moment? And he let himself have the opportunity to see that there are a few different angles, and to see you as being a human, too.
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::Alli Gatlin: And we don't… we don't really give ourselves that opportunity, nor do we give other people in our lives that opportunity enough. And I think a big part of it, right, I am…
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::Alli Gatlin: Like, the… the let them theory and all those things of… people are learning about this, like, really skewed version of, like, detachment.
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::Alli Gatlin: Right? And I think there's… there should be a very healthy level of detachment that we all walk into life with, but also, there needs to be a level of non-duality, like you were saying, talking about being good or bad. There is no good or bad, there just is.
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::Alli Gatlin: And…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: In the gut.
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::Alli Gatlin: That's where so many people lose
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::Alli Gatlin: themselves in this, like, let them theory on all this stuff, and, oh, I gotta have my boundaries, because people apply boundaries to other people. That's not what boundaries are. Boundaries are for us.
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::Alli Gatlin: Boundaries are the way that we control our own actions based on external, you know, conditions that we have, right? If I don't appreciate X, Y, and Z happening, I'm not going to force other people to stop X, Y, and Z happening, I'm going to remove myself. The best way I always say this.
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::Alli Gatlin: You don't need to change the vibe of the party, or the vibe of the room that you go in if you hate it. You can just leave the room yourself.
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::Alli Gatlin: If other people are working in that vibe, then you excuse yourself. You don't try to change others.
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::Alli Gatlin: And that's the… I think a great way also to, like, kind of voice what you were saying is, like, that… how do we see the difference between what we're writing versus what was really happening is…
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::Alli Gatlin: is it truly helping you to continue, like, ruminating? That's why I say, like, journaling screws people up a lot of times, because they're like, oh, it just doesn't work for me.
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::Alli Gatlin: Well, it's because you're writing the worst stories and the worst things that you've ever thought over and over and over again, and you're not allowing yourself to either, one, see what's next, or two, what else could be true, or three, what parts of this am I kind of just assuming versus what really happened?
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::Alli Gatlin: Like, where are the connections that I'm making that aren't really there?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Sometimes you can just make it up.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What better story about what it all meant. It's okay.
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::Alli Gatlin: Or it can mean nothing. You can always choose that. Things can just mean nothing.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think…
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::Alli Gatlin: can just exist.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know, it just happened.
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::Alli Gatlin: It's… something's just there, like…
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::Alli Gatlin: does… does me wearing a certain pair of shoes today make a difference in your life? No, it just is… it just is, right? And I always say that, like, what does it matter what socks somebody else has on their feet if it works for their feet?
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::Alli Gatlin: I don't care about your socks. I'm gonna focus on my socks. Do my socks work for me? And that's all that matters. But, you know, I want you to have the best socks for you, so that's all that is. You know, it doesn't… you don't need to make something bigger than what it is.
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::Alli Gatlin: Some things are allowed to just be what they were, and then you're allowed to move on.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And we can bring this back to business, in that you're allowed to change.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You're allowed to discover what works for you, and if what you picked isn't working for you, you can pick something else. You don't have to double down on it.
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::Alli Gatlin: 100%.
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::Alli Gatlin: 100%, just because something has worked in the past and things have changed, you don't need to keep trying to beat this dead horse, and you're supposed to evolve.
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::Alli Gatlin: Right? If you… every business evolves, too, and everything changes, right? Look at Amazon. It used to just be 4 books, and now it's for everything under the sun.
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::Alli Gatlin: you know, businesses are supposed to go through life cycles. Things evolve and change, and you're supposed to adopt better practices. You're supposed to get better. And I think as a business owner, people forget that. It's… we have not just the authority, but the responsibility to own
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::Alli Gatlin: Where we're doing things poorly, and then to consistently aim to do them better.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But we don't have to be perfect. There is no.
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::Alli Gatlin: No!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There's only just getting better, and sometimes you fail at that.
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah, and then, but to be honest about your failings, too, and I think if more business owners be like, I screwed that up, guys, I am so sorry.
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::Alli Gatlin: Like, this is what my plan is, you know, to try to remedy this. You know, does anyone have any thoughts or anything that I need to address, you know, directly? And open up a dialogue. People forget that communication starts with you, like, you have to be open to hearing things as well.
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::Alli Gatlin: And if everyone's telling you that everything you're doing is crap.
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::Alli Gatlin: maybe you should start listening a little bit from time to time. I'm not saying listen to everybody else's opinion on your business. If you're truly passionate about something, go for it. But if you're doing it in a really crappy way.
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::Alli Gatlin: Be willing to hear some feedback, and let your business evolve to be what both you are passionate about and want to, you know, commit to.
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::Alli Gatlin: And actually give people what they're wanting, too. Two things can happen.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And listen to what they're telling you, because often you're…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you're… if you're in a community, your community will ask you for things. And if they're asking you for something, it's because they need it, and you're good at it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, it's okay to, like, narrow down and just really deliver, over-deliver in that one little area.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It… it'll actually help you grow and expand into more spaces.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: If you adopt A philosophy like that.
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::Alli Gatlin: 100%!
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::Alli Gatlin: And, you know, I… that's something that I've done even in my community. We call it the village, you know? And you've even seen it, like, with my word searches on the weekends, my weekend word searches. People really liked the low threshold, like, you know, low pressure entryway.
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::Alli Gatlin: And, like you said, it was kind of like an oracle reading, and people are liking to be able to find these words and just do the simple activities that help reconnect them with doing something easy.
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::Alli Gatlin: But meaningful. People needed easier access points, and so the more people that told me they needed easier access points, I was like, okay, how can I give them to them?
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::Alli Gatlin: And… not because I don't want people to do the deeper work, but you can't just jump right in to, you know, reading the Iliad if you've never read Dr. Seuss.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, people need…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: people need space to be able to interact on a very minimal basis, as well as a higher level. We don't all have a lot of time to do things, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: especially with school communities, it's like, I want to be in everybody's community, and I really want to be active, but I usually have to do it in bursts.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And… and I want to…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I want it to be meaningful, but I don't want to have to think a whole lot in order to just get started with being…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: like, the word search was a great example, because it was just something that you looked at, whatever fell out, that's what you wrote down, only 6 words, and you're, you know, your 6 words right ugly. I love that!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm a terrible journaler. I… I always tell myself I should get up in the morning, and I should meditate, and I should write in a journal. That just doesn't happen. I do the daily notes boost. It's like…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's my therapy.
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::Alli Gatlin: And how quickly do you write, like, a note, right? It takes 2 minutes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah!
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::Alli Gatlin: And so that's… you're… you are doing my right ugly method, right? You are doing that practice with your notes, because you're writing something meaningful, and it takes you 2 minutes a day. It doesn't need to be this giant thing, and that kind of goes back to that DNR methodology that I…
330
::Alli Gatlin: a big part of it is incorporated and woven all through, you know, you know, the Alchemy of perspective, which is the kind of overall philosophy of what I teach, which is those micro practices that are re… like, slowly repatterning, and it builds up, and it builds up, and it builds up.
331
::Alli Gatlin: Those little things are… help you reconnect with the version of you that you're wanting to be, and the version of you that you respect, because you're doing the things, but you're making them accessible.
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::Alli Gatlin: And journaling should be accessible. Writing should be accessible, and that's why I don't… I very rarely actually use the word journaling in my community. I call it a writing practice, because we are practicing it. And when you practice something, you're gonna screw it up.
333
::Alli Gatlin: And I don't think people need this excess pressure to get journaling perfect. No, you're gonna write, you're gonna practice, you're gonna practice your words, that's all. And if all you have is 6 words.
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::Alli Gatlin: That's perfect. That's all it takes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to be connected.
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::Alli Gatlin: No! I one time wrote banana 6 times in a row!
337
::Alli Gatlin: Because banana was just impactful for me that day.
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::Alli Gatlin: And then, lo and behold, the very next day, I went viral and started… accidentally started to banana gate on threads. It was very funny.
339
::Alli Gatlin: But people just went crazy for my banana bread.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They went bananas.
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::Alli Gatlin: Wembley!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: ANAS.
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::Alli Gatlin: But it's those little things, it's okay to just show up as you are in that moment, and I think that people push too hard for authenticity to be this profound thing, when it's just this chaotically neutral thing.
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::Alli Gatlin: It's just… it just is. Authenticity should just be it. You know? It should just show… like, fall out of you. It's… that's what authenticity is. You don't have to try to be authentic, just be it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, it's just being. And sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's tragic, and sometimes it just…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You're just, like, showing up.
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::Alli Gatlin: And, you know, but when you stay curious, you can, one, also find the humor in a lot of it, too, even when it is, like.
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::Alli Gatlin: Even when you're accidentally profound, or, like, just…
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::Alli Gatlin: all the… accidentally write this, like, harrowing thing, and you're like, whoa! You're like, oh my god, I can't believe I just pulled it. It's funny! It's funny to just see, like.
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::Alli Gatlin: when you tap in with who you really are, it's… it doesn't have to be this big pressure to be it. It just is. And then, when you take out the pressure, and you just stay curious, right? And you're not being a dick to yourself either, you're not, like, pigeonholing yourself to just…
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::Alli Gatlin: You have to do this, you have to be smart, you have to be, like, the wittiest, you have to…
352
::Alli Gatlin: Or you, you know, maybe just say screw that and just be. You know, if you just show up and just write 6 words.
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::Alli Gatlin: Just write 6 words.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Company needs to hear it.
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::Alli Gatlin: And if it's nobody else, it's you.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, that could just be you. So, coming back to the idea that we can tell the truth and still be telling ourselves an edited version of it, how do we catch that edit in real time and get back to what we're actually feeling?
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::Alli Gatlin: Yeah, and so I always say, when you're doing that, press pause and ask yourself a few questions, right? I always… I have… I think you've seen that… I dropped my, like, the WTF moments, when you have those, follow the WWW method, like the who, what, when, where's, and whys, and start
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::Alli Gatlin: keep a little data log for yourself. And, I don't know if this was when you accidentally stopped recording, but if you go to unmasked.writeuglymethod.com, there's a tool there, that helps you
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::Alli Gatlin: process what is going on, and it's a 2-minute, like, there's 10 little phases that you go through, and it takes you 2 minutes to go through it. And…
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::Alli Gatlin: it helps you literally isolate, okay, this is what I'm truly feeling, or I don't know why I'm having this big feeling right now. And you can even… there's a button that auto-populates that, like, I don't know, I just feel something feels weird. And press pause, and ask yourself, like, what's going on? Where am I physically feeling it?
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::Alli Gatlin: what am I telling myself right now? What really happened? What am I assuming happened? And, you know, and what's going on in between times?
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::Alli Gatlin: And just give yourself permission.
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::Alli Gatlin: to just take those 2 minutes, either write it down, or say it out loud, take a voice note, I'm a big fan of audio journaling, too, and just acknowledging, I'm feeling something right now.
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::Alli Gatlin: And then also giving yourself permission to not figure it out right now.
365
::Alli Gatlin: just saying, I don't need to deal with this right now. Let me come back to this when I'm not feeling emotionally flooded, because I think that's our biggest issue, is oftentimes we're trying to solve a problem while we're in the thick of it.
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::Alli Gatlin: And we need to give ourselves space to regulate our physical bodies.
367
::Alli Gatlin: Because our brain cannot function the way that we think it can when it's under complete stress. And that happens in business.
368
::Alli Gatlin: The power of the pause is your…
369
::Alli Gatlin: Of the paws is your best friend.
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::Alli Gatlin: And… Give yourself permission to press pause on a moment.
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::Alli Gatlin: Ask yourself, like, okay, what's really going on? And just write down the data, right? Our experiences in life and our emotions and things, they don't have to be this big, giant thing. Treat them in… as data.
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::Alli Gatlin: And I know one of the… one of the… everybody's favorites that we did, it's, like, one of our, like, little missions that we do inside the village, in my community on school, is that we do, like, our fieldwork data, and we just… instead of having…
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::Alli Gatlin: immediate solutions or processing things in the moment, we actually give ourselves permission to not deal with them until the very next day, and instead, we just write a list of, this is what happened, whether it's a voice note, or journaling, or, you know, writing down just in a quick little note.
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::Alli Gatlin: It's saying, okay, at this time, I felt this. This is what was, like, the who, what, when, where's, and whys of what was happening, except we don't ask why. It's just who, what, when, where.
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::Alli Gatlin: Skip the why right now. We don't need to logic ourselves out of it. We don't need to tell ourself a story. And…
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::Alli Gatlin: Usually, you'll have anywhere between, like, 5 to 10, like, big trigger moments during that day, but if you've given yourself permission to just catalog them and process, like, and I'll look at these tomorrow, one, you'll realize that that's
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::Alli Gatlin: Wonky 5 minutes didn't need to control your entire day, which is sometimes when we try to over-process, when we're having a flooded feeling.
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::Alli Gatlin: that 5 minute… like, that crappy 5 minutes turns into a crappy and entire afternoon, because all you're doing is thinking about that crappy thing over and over and over again, and you're ruminating. But instead, you give yourself permission to press pause on that, and just go about your day. And…
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::Alli Gatlin: giving yourself the space, because clarity doesn't… clarity's not something that we can find, because we will ourselves to it. Clarity will find us once we give it space for it to show up and find us. We just need to make sure that there's a seat at the table for it to find us.
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::Alli Gatlin: So, during that time, instead, just… press pause.
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::Alli Gatlin: just slow down and say, I don't need to decipher this right now. Just acknowledge that, okay, right now I'm feeling flustered.
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::Alli Gatlin: What can I do in this moment to not physically feel so gross? And usually that's going to be some type of grounding exercise. Box breathing is a really good one, you know, where you breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold for 4. It's a great one.
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::Alli Gatlin: The other one I really like is a full-body somatic, like, thing. I call it the… we do the Bernie Lean. It's a dance move. But you know, you just… you just wiggle it out, or just let out a giant, like, primal, like, growl.
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::Alli Gatlin: Physically let your body, like, have a somatic release.
385
::Alli Gatlin: And give yourself permission to press pause on everything else, and don't worry about…
386
::Alli Gatlin: dealing with your real emotion in that, like, because your emotion is the physical part. Your feelings are the story that we apply to it.
387
::Alli Gatlin: And so we can deal with our feelings a little bit later when we're not physically feeling so emotional.
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::Alli Gatlin: Did that answer your question?
389
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, just gathering data.
390
::Alli Gatlin: Because, yeah, remember, it is just data, and it's up to us to process that data. Like, we are our own data processors, so let's just be better ones.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, give yourself permission to just gather data so that you can make A rational and reasoned response.
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::Alli Gatlin: Or at least a balanced one, even if it's not rational or reasonable, right? You might be… you might be wildly unreasonable later, but you at least gave yourself time
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::Alli Gatlin: To sit with it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think that would help us a lot.
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::Alli Gatlin: the power of the pause changes kind of everything. I tell everybody, just press pause, do a couple of box press, hit the Bernie lean, and take a note, and come back to it. Just… I always say, like, that's a sticky note for later, and I sticky note myself all day long.
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::Alli Gatlin: Like, sticky note for later.
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::Alli Gatlin: I oftentimes carry sticky notes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You don't even need the sticky note.
400
::Alli Gatlin: Nope, because usually by the time… if you write it down on a sticky note and be like, remember to, like, figure out why I felt like shit at 10, you know, 10 o'clock yesterday, and you put it on the wall, and then you come back to it, why did I feel… I don't know. And it usually doesn't mean as much as you think it does, but you can give it way more power than it needs to have if you, you know, don't.
401
::Alli Gatlin: But also, if you are, like, sticky noting and, you know, keeping that data, and then you realize that, like, yeah, every time I do X, Y, and Z thing, I have this horrible feeling, you are able to actually, in real time, see that pattern.
402
::Alli Gatlin: And… so…
403
::Alli Gatlin: The tool that I was talking about on there, you can actually even, like, save the… like, save a PDF or save an image of, like, your experience, and if you go through and use it as often as you want, and then reset and use it over and over again, you'll have a whole gallery full of your, like, you know, trigger moments, and then if you look back at them at the end of the week and be like, oh my gosh, you can…
404
::Alli Gatlin: You could actually see all of your own patterns.
405
::Alli Gatlin: And I…
406
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Put it into AI and let AI tell you…
407
::Alli Gatlin: What was that?
408
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: dump it into AI and let AI go through all the images.
409
::Alli Gatlin: Right? You could even do that, yeah.
410
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Fuck, you tend to do this, and that's how you feel.
411
::Alli Gatlin: Stop doing it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: not.
413
::Alli Gatlin: Yeah!
414
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Don't feel like that anymore.
415
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Or keep doing it, and maybe you will.
416
::Alli Gatlin: Exactly.
417
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because it goes both ways.
418
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, Alli, how can people find you?
419
::Alli Gatlin: Yeah, so you can find me on Substack, it's just if you go to Substack, it's just AlliGatlin.substack.com, and I am Alli Gatlin and the, you know, written identity, and then I'm also on school, which is, if you go to school.com backslash identity written.
420
::Alli Gatlin: Slash about. I'm right there. The community on school is called Writing Identity.
421
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's a great space.
422
::Alli Gatlin: Yes, yes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love it over there.
424
::Alli Gatlin: You'll find both Jill and myself there, and our…
425
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes.
426
::Alli Gatlin: researches.
427
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes.
428
::Alli Gatlin: What did you think about the crossword puzzle? I thought that was so much fun to make.
429
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It required more… more than I was.
430
::Alli Gatlin: Yes.
431
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to give.
432
::Alli Gatlin: For sure, but some people are just crossword junkies, so I wanted to get, like, the weekenders.
433
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: totally appreciate that, and I did appreciate the…
434
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It wasn't really long, either. No, it was enough.
435
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And then, the word search, seriously, it was just like, you know, when you're bad at shuffling the tarot deck and…
436
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: just fall out all over the place. Yep. It was super easy. So you have balance in there, and sometimes you're just like, okay, give me six words, and…
437
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But…
438
::Alli Gatlin: Yep.
439
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You got it.
440
::Alli Gatlin: I guess, identity.
441
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Existing.
442
::Alli Gatlin: Six words is easy. Yeah. Six ugly words sometimes is all it takes. You can either make them into a sentence or not, just list them out. Bullet points are the best.
443
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, or sometimes you do haiku, and I…
444
::Alli Gatlin: Yeah!
445
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There's a lot of different things that are a little
446
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: brain exercises that allow us to get more in touch with what we're really thinking, because when you just put 6 words down, it's just, like, whatever 6 words
447
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Come out your fingertips. Those are the 6 words, they're out your mouth. There's not a lot of thought involved in it.
448
::Alli Gatlin: Yeah.
449
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you… I think you get truth more often if you don't overthink it, because when we start into that overthinking mode, we're like, oh, how is this going to be perceived?
450
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: what are people gonna think about this? And, you know, there's none of that in your community, and I'm in a lot of communities, and I don't even care.
451
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That people see me show up in your community as me, because
452
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I try to just be me in all the communities.
453
::Alli Gatlin: Yeah, why refer, like, half my people have joined your community?
454
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Might as well.
455
::Alli Gatlin: Because they're like, I love Jill, because they love the way you show up, and that kind of comes back to that authenticity. You're not trying to be authentic, you just are being. And that has been, like, a beacon and just very magnetic for so many people.
456
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, and I think the same goes for you. It's just, like.
457
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: When you show up as you, with all your warts and everything, and…
458
::Alli Gatlin: It's a mole, not a warrant.
459
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Oh, I wasn't talking about that.
460
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know, I didn't even notice that.
461
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's a beauty mark, it's not even a mole.
462
::Alli Gatlin: Oh, no, she's pretty visible, she's 3D.
463
::Alli Gatlin: She sticks way out.
464
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's actually… Women used to, like, draw those on.
465
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.
466
::Alli Gatlin: I know, she's getting pretty big, though. It's exciting. I'm getting another one down here.
467
::Alli Gatlin: Yeah. I'm moley. I like guacamole.
468
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's gorgeous. Thank you. It fits your face, so…
469
::Alli Gatlin: Oh, wonderful.
470
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You're beautiful.
471
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Anyway… Thank you so much for joining me.
472
::Alli Gatlin: I've had so much fun.
473
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: This… this whole recording thing is… I don't… I don't know what's going on, I'm gonna have to journal about it.
474
::Alli Gatlin: Yes, well, come and ride ugly with me, we'll do it.
475
::Alli Gatlin: Today's for our daily words. Hart Jill and Alli cursed when it comes to recording their podcasts.
476
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The last time Alli came on, I did record it.
477
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I just don't know what happened to the recording. I mean, it is nowhere, and I've done, like, hundreds of interviews, and I've only lost two.
478
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: This one?
479
::Alli Gatlin: How funny.
480
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And another guy's… and I know why I lost his. It was there, but I hadn't left enough time for it to download.
481
::Alli Gatlin: Oh, to, like… oh, yeah.
482
::Alli Gatlin: It's so weird, because I remember you'd even send it to me, but then I lost it, too.
483
::Alli Gatlin: Except for that one weird clip that I'd sent you, and I'm like, I found this weird clip! You're like, where did that come from? I'm like, I don't know!
484
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It was totally bizarre.
485
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But… and then… well, he's recording problems with this one, so…
486
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's fun, it's always fun to get to chat with you anyway.
487
::Alli Gatlin: Yes.
488
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So… Thank you all for coming and…
489
::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: tuning in with us today. If you're ready to amplify your voice, monetize your mission, and start attracting premium clients, your next step is simple. Head to thecoachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit. Join us for our next episode as we share what others are doing to raise the global frequency. And remember, change begins with you. You have all the power to change the world. Start today and get visible.
