Faith, Confidence & Calling: Walking Boldly in Divine Purpose with Christella Ilunga
What if your faith became the foundation of your confidence, purpose, and power?
In this inspiring episode, Christella Ilunga—a Congolese-American creator, educator, and pageant queen—shares how her Christian faith and background in behavioral therapy helped her find her divine purpose and empower others to do the same.
Christella opens up about her journey from the runway to real-world impact, the lessons she’s learned about authenticity, confidence, and obedience, and how her eBook Purposeful Mindset helps readers align faith, identity, and purpose.
You’ll discover:
💫 Why copying others blocks your calling
💫 How to turn setbacks into spiritual strength
💫 The mindset shift that transforms fear into faith
Tune in for a powerful reminder that you were created for a reason—and when you walk in alignment with God’s plan, your light naturally shines.
👉 Learn more
https://www.instagram.com/christellamilunga/
https://linktr.ee/Christellamilunga
christellamerveilleilu@gmailcom
Want premium clients from your content?
Grab a free Client Acquisition Audit and I’ll show you exactly where your message, offer, and CTA are leaking conversions—and the 3 fixes to turn your podcast/Substack into a client pipeline.
👉 Book here: https://coachsalchemist.com
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Transcript
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What if your faith became the foundation of your confidence, purpose, and power? In this episode, our guest shares how her Christian faith and background in behavioral therapy shaped her journey from pageant queen to purpose-driven educator and creator. Discover how to walk boldly in your calling, redefine success through faith, and live a life that reflects divine alignment. Hi, and welcome to the UWorld Order Showcase Podcast, where we feature life, health, transformational
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: coaches and spiritual entrepreneurs.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Stepping up to be the change they seek in the world.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm your host, Jill Hart, The Coach's Alchemist, on a mission to help coaches and entrepreneurs amplify their voice, maximize their mission.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And get visible.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: If you're ready to start attracting premium clients without chasing algorithms or hunting people down like a banshee on a mission, head over to Coachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit. It's the first step to building a business where your clients seek you out rather than having to hunt them down. Today, we are chatting with Christella Laguna.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I looked at… I'm sorry, can you pronounce.
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::Christella: Any longer, it's okay.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Lunda. Christella is a Condoleez-American creator, educator, pageant queen, and spokesmodel passionate about development and enrichment. With a background as a behavioral therapist, she helps others cultivate a purposeful mindset. Rooted in faith and personal growth. Her work bridges inner transformation and outward confidence, inspiring others to follow God's path for their lives. Kristella is also the author of Purpose.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Mindset eBook, A Guide to Aligning Faith, Identity, and Purpose in Today's World. Hi, and welcome to the show, Christelle. It's great to have you with us.
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::Christella: Thank you for having me, so excited to be here.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, let me ask you the big question. What's the most significant thing, in your opinion, as individuals, we can do to make an impact on how the world is going?
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::Christella: throughout our divine purpose, because we were all created for a reason. Regardless of what you believe or who you believe, there's a reason why you're here. And until you figure that out, your true…
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::Christella: the world will be non-existent. So you have to show up as that person in that room, in that space, in that environment, in that community.
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::Christella: And everything's…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, welcome to the show, Christella, it's nice to have you here.
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::Christella Ilunga: Nice to be here.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So let me ask you the big question. What's the most significant thing, in your opinion, as individuals, we can do to make an impact on how the world is going?
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::Christella Ilunga: For me, that would definitely be finding your purpose for being here, regardless of who you believe in, what you believe in. There's a reason why you were created. And that reason, that moment, that environment, that place, that person.
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::Christella Ilunga: it's going to create a domino effect for someone else or a group of people, and that's how life works. I believe that life is all about how we interact with each other and how we impact and influence one another. So once you know who you are and why you are here, you can be that, and you're going to help
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::Christella Ilunga: To basically launch the next person, if that makes sense.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It does make total sense to me, and I…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I so agree with you in that we are all here for a purpose, we don't have to be the best at everything, but once we realize what our mission is, it's like the whole world opens up for us.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, I know you got started in pageantry work, which is kind of an interesting place to come from to get into the coaching world. You want to tell us a little bit about your story and how you got there?
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::Christella Ilunga: So, I actually attended a faith seminar called Pretty Preachers. There was a woman on there who is a pageant coach, and she also competed in pageantry, and I really like how put together she was. I like how she spoke, I like
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::Christella Ilunga: how passionate she was about, just what she was speaking on in general, and as we learned more, she said she would be willing to coach others in pageantry. I have never done a pageant in my life. I've heard of pageants, but I never took interest, because I was kind of more, like.
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::Christella Ilunga: laid-back and not really a spotlight type of individual. And I was like, let me try something new. I was in that phase where I'm like, I'm ready to do something new, to transition, to step out of my comfort zone. So that's how I got into pageantry, and one of my childhood friends actually said that it is something that she saw suited me well.
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::Christella Ilunga: Because it helped highlight the parts of me that only people who know me personally got to see, so it gave me that opportunity to show everyone else that, and I'm a more closed-off person, so I didn't do that naturally, so it kind of pushed me into purpose.
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::Christella Ilunga: And pageantry comes with a lot of coaching, a lot of helping each other in the background when we're competing. We also learn about each other, we encourage each other, we learn that a lot of different women are… although we are walking different walks in life, we have to work through the same problems. Confidence.
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::Christella Ilunga: Relationships, school, work, whatever stressors, we all have those issues in different levels, but we can all work it out together and help each other out, and that's pretty much what coaching is about, is helping other people work through their issues and work through life, and…
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::Christella Ilunga: I don't know, it just inspired me to think less of myself.
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::Christella Ilunga: And I only really helped my clients at work, and I didn't ever think that I could help people I know, or people I meet, or just random people, because everyone needs some type of help. And to transfer those skills from the foundation of ABA really helps me stand out as a coach, because I bring that scientific
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::Christella Ilunga: approach to it, and I think it makes a difference with the people who I do work with.
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::Christella Ilunga: I think the thing about pageants that really interests me is.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes, you're competing, but not really.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: what you're doing is more showcasing, and yeah, there's a reward or whatever, but it's not that one person loses and another person wins. It's not like sports. Everybody really wins.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's just one person is chosen to be the spokesperson for the next year, or whatever the reward is for being chosen at that time.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You just… you shone… your light shone brighter, rather than, other people were just not that great.
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::Christella Ilunga: Yeah, that is so true. I love that you put it in those terms, because that's how I see it. Everyone has an appointed time to shine, and also they're looking for something specific that year, that time, for that
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::Christella Ilunga: pageant system, and it just means that you have what they're looking to showcase at that time. And maybe it's not your time to win, but one day it will be. It's always something that I tell other women, and I always told myself, like, you will get your day. One day it'll be your turn.
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::Christella Ilunga: You know, it's like working with kids. You teach them how to take turns, and how to wait, and how to be patient, and how to also encourage others and be a good sport when or while it's someone else's turn, things like that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, and to be able to encourage each other, even though you're not the winning person, it's…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: it's… you're part of a community where we're just, like, celebrating this one person today, and tomorrow it will be your turn to be celebrated. So you can come with all of your… your gifts, and… and…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: be really happy for that person, instead of being sad for yourself, oh, I didn't win.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Your moment will come. This is…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: This is like the sports field, where, you know, it's… like, there's only one victor, and that victor's gonna keep winning and winning and winning all the time, because it doesn't work that way in pageants. At least, I haven't seen it work that way.
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::Christella Ilunga: Some… some women do actually win all of them. There are some very lucky, blessed, grace individuals who just are very good at all of
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::Christella Ilunga: the things that pageants require, and they are asked to participate multiple times in multiple pageants, and it does come across as
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::Christella Ilunga: off-putting, that's the word I'm gonna use for some other girls, but it just means that that's how they shine the brightest and the best, and like you said, there is a time and a space, and maybe… but you learn that maybe that's not what works for you, you know?
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::Christella Ilunga: But the pageant system, it does need one winner, and then a bunch of very supportive and empowering women. It's a show. It is really a show, and you have to remember that.
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::Christella Ilunga: When you're on stage. When other women are having their moment, you have to clap, you have to smile. One of the worst things that happens to a lot of pageant women is they get caught on stage with a face that they should not have on, and it gets… it gives you a bad reputation, and it takes a long time to remove it, a year or so, before they really forgive you and give you another opportunity, what I've seen for other girls.
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::Christella Ilunga: But it's something that one of my coaches told me. My first go-around, she told me, do not be that girl.
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::Christella Ilunga: Who gets caught in a photo, or in a video, being upset at another queen, because it's poor sportsmanship.
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::Christella Ilunga: But yeah, it… it is…
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::Christella Ilunga: although it's a show, and it… some people, because they're coming from sports backgrounds, you have to understand, like, everyone's coming from something. Some women are lawyers. Like, what? Like, they come from so, like, competitive, like.
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::Christella Ilunga: foundation, so they bring that into the pageant world, and when you meet them, and you're like, oh, this is the experience that we all don't want. But yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, how does your faith play into all of this?
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::Christella Ilunga: the Word of God
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::Christella Ilunga: It says that for everything, there is a time. So there's going to be a time where you are going to be just one of the contestants. I've had that experience. There's going to be a time where you get a special award. I had that experience. There's going to be a time where you get to be considered one of the stronger or standout competitors, which is placing. I've had that experience as well. And there's going to be a time where a different path
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::Christella Ilunga: system is watching, and they say, you know what? We like what you did over there, and we're gonna take you, and we want to use you. So, it's really understanding that, just like,
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::Christella Ilunga: the five-fold Ministries, there's a space and a place for everyone.
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::Christella Ilunga: That's how I see pageantry.
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::Christella Ilunga: what is my role here for this pageant? Last year, I went to a pageant, and I was like, I came here to just be a part of the experience. I was considered for one of the, social media contest awards, and one of my good friends, she actually won.
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::Christella Ilunga: But, like, I went into that pageant just to go. I was like, I always go and
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::Christella Ilunga: I either come out with something, a different opportunity, and this time I'm not going with expectation, I'm just going to enjoy the experience, which I did. I wanted to build a community, because the Bible also talks about building community, and that's something that I did not have. It was a very pleasant and positive experience to grow in that way, because it's something that I don't do.
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::Christella Ilunga: Like, the girls at that specific pageant received a side of me that other pageant systems that I've competed in have not. They really got…
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::Christella Ilunga: to see me just be myself. And maybe it's, like, something everyone expected me to be somebody else. I… that's how I take it. They… from social media, people expect me to be a certain way, and then when they meet me in person, they… everybody says this. I'm, like, one of the chillest, most laid-back, coolest people. I kind of just stay in my lane. That's really how I am. So,
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::Christella Ilunga: like, when the Bible says, let your light shine, that's my light. I like to help other people. I don't always have to be the center of attention or the main focus. I know how to…
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::Christella Ilunga: highlight other people, and that's why I say, when you find out your purpose, which is why coaching is something that drew me, I was like, I can see things in other people that, maybe in their darker moments, they can't really see. And a friend of mine, a Bible study partner, actually reminded me that the other day. She said.
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::Christella Ilunga: In my short time of knowing you, you have always known exactly what to say and when to say it, and that's why I believe that
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::Christella Ilunga: we need to be obedient, or… some people use the word align, align ourselves with what our strengths are, because our strengths help build other people's strengths. Does that make sense?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Total sense, I…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You're speaking my language, girl. I've long believed that we all come here with a purpose, we have things that we're really good at, and other things that we're really not that good at, and it's okay, because somebody else is good at that. We don't have to be good at everything.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We can just be really good at the things we're really good at, and invite those who are really good at those other things to be really good at those things!
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::Christella Ilunga: Exactly.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Together, we make beautiful symphonies, whereas if we're trying to, like, play all the instruments, it's gonna sound like crap.
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::Christella Ilunga: Yes. That's exactly what happens.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Not to put too fine a point on it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, let me ask you this, what's the biggest piece of advice you tried?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That didn't work.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Maybe when it comes to, like, being in pageants, or in coaching, or… Than life in general.
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::Christella Ilunga: I was gonna say, in life in general, do not, and I repeat, do not copy and paste other people onto yourself. You can be inspired by other people. They can serve as inspirational key pieces of what you would like to do.
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::Christella Ilunga: But always remember that you are as individual as a snowflake. If you try to embody someone else, you are going to fail miserably, or you are going to miss out on what you could have done, a key point in your growth and development.
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::Christella Ilunga: Because you're not building yourself, you're building someone else onto yourself. It's like putting on, like, a costume.
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::Christella Ilunga: Or a dress that doesn't fit, so you look funny. Or shoes that are way too small, or way too big. You look ridiculous, you know? So, when people tell you, oh, be like this person, or they already did it before, so you should do the same thing, or just follow how somebody else did it.
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::Christella Ilunga: You are not going to stand out as you doing what somebody else did. Simone Biles says that. She's not the next
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::Christella Ilunga: this person or that person, she's the first her. Meaning that there's something about you that has to be different than other people, especially in pageantry and coaching. There are so many pageant women. There are so many coaches.
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::Christella Ilunga: What makes you unique is what you bring to the table based on how you develop yourself. If you do everything that somebody else does, you're not developing yourself, you're just imitating and emulating someone else. And what if they were looking for that you?
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::Christella Ilunga: who you could have been had you focused on being your unique self. And I blame the school system for this, not because they're wrong, but because they do,
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::Christella Ilunga: tend to build us up to be a part of society, meaning to conform. And when the Bible says, do not conform to the patterns of this world, think for yourself so you can know what God's perfect will is for you, you have to take that very seriously.
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::Christella Ilunga: Because what everyone else is doing might be the exact thing that will make you miss out on an opportunity for you.
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::Christella Ilunga: if you do what everyone else does. Like, I went to a pageant, everyone was crying, everyone was sad, none of us placed. I had another opportunity offered to me because they liked how I was speaking and what I was posting during my pageant journey. So they're like, actually, if this doesn't work out, you come over here and be with us. And I'm like, oh, okay. So I wasn't really sad.
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::Christella Ilunga: But that's when I learned that I have a strong passion for empowering women. I saw everybody crying, and I was like, why are you guys crying? And…
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::Christella Ilunga: in my defense, I don't have a reason to cry, because I know that I have another opportunity to come, right?
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::Christella Ilunga: they were really sad. And if I just had been like everybody else, like, everyone was crying and everyone was just letting them.
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::Christella Ilunga: that wouldn't have sparked my biggest breakthrough of recognizing that I can positively influence the room around me.
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::Christella Ilunga: Usually when negativity occurs, or sorrow occurs, I will run off. I, like, I don't want to be there. I don't want to be a part of it. That's conformity. It's like, oh, this is not my problem. This is not my issue. This is not my concern. This is not going to affect me in any way, I can be fine.
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::Christella Ilunga: But it's that moment where I decided, actually, I can decide to not make it my problem.
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::Christella Ilunga: But be a part of the solution. Now, that's the difference, right? That was my breakthrough. Recognizing that I have the power to do something for someone else, even if it's not going to benefit me in any way. Because we are raised to believe that we have to be benefited all the time, that we cannot be benefici… I mean, that we're beneficiaries, but we cannot help other people to benefit from us and push other people
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::Christella Ilunga: to…
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::Christella Ilunga: become something else. So, I started speaking to them, and encouraging them, and helping them see that, like, this is not the end, focus on the positives. We all got to be in the room, we got to experience it, we learned something. You took something out of this situation. And so many of those girls ended up trying again, and they ended up having crowns of their own, and they found their own spaces to shine.
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::Christella Ilunga: And it starts with something like that.
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::Christella Ilunga: that decision to really be yourself. Had I decided to be like everyone else, and been like, okay, yeah, I could have been sitting here crying too, actually. I chose not to. Not because I'm more emotionally stable than the rest of the girls, but because my situation was different.
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::Christella Ilunga: Now, with…
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::Christella Ilunga: being in a better situation, that's when your character really shows. Like, what kind of person are you? When you're… when you're doing better than other people, do you help them, or do you tell yourself, this isn't my problem? Because that's how you know whether or not, for me, that somebody else is a Christian.
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::Christella Ilunga: Christian people are supposed to be selfless.
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::Christella Ilunga: We're supposed to think of others.
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::Christella Ilunga: And that's when I really started clinging on to my faith, and I started to believe I was really a Christian. I struggled with that. Like, is this really, like, are we just practicing something, or am I really embodying it? And that's one of the moments that made me realize, wow, this is very Christ-like of me. Because he didn't only think of himself, he thought about everyone.
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::Christella Ilunga: And how everyone would feel, and providing for everyone, even if it's not something huge. You don't know what one moment can do for someone's life.
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::Christella Ilunga: And some of the girls, like, they really looked up to me after that, and I was just like, what did I really do? At the time, I was, like, looking down at it, like, that wasn't that serious. But as time grew on, and I grew as a coach, I grew in pageantry, and I got more mentoring, I recognized that is so…
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::Christella Ilunga: Powerful.
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::Christella Ilunga: Impacting someone in a positive way when they're at their lowest is one of the most powerful things that you can do, because that's a breakthrough, not just for you, realizing that you can turn on a light in someone's life, but you can also become, like, instrumental to them later on. They can say, wow, if you didn't say or do this, this may not have happened.
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::Christella Ilunga: That's why I say you have to be in alignment or obedient.
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::Christella Ilunga: to what you think is best. I scan the room, I'm like, there's the exit.
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::Christella Ilunga: I can go home right now, because usually that's, like, when it's over, I'm like, okay, I'm ready to go. But I decided not to do that.
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::Christella Ilunga: And… That's what really changed and transformed my life, and…
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::Christella Ilunga: I don't know, it just gave me a very good, positive reputation and launched my…
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::Christella Ilunga: passion and my association with women's empowerment, and I needed that. The girls needed that, but I needed that too. Like, everybody got something out of it, does that make sense?
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::Christella Ilunga: I'm just stop saying that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, what inspired you to write the book Purposeful Mindset, and how do you… how does it reflect your personal journey?
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::Christella Ilunga: Well, I've struggled with mental health, issues, specifically depression and anxiety, and one of the things that my coaches always focus in on is my mindset. I have to change the way I see my issues, my problems, myself, you know, because that's what was limiting me.
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::Christella Ilunga: And we are wired to think of ourselves based on our experiences, based on what other people say about us, and based on how we speak to ourselves.
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::Christella Ilunga: So, I decided that as I was learning, I also wanted to help others to not only find their identity, but identify
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::Christella Ilunga: their purpose so that they could move from purpose. So everything that you do is coming from who you're supposed to be, not just who you are today. So you're working towards something, you're not just at a standstill.
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::Christella Ilunga: That's what will get someone stuck, is when you believe that, okay, this mistake is it. Okay, you made a mistake today, but tomorrow, or in the next couple of minutes, or the next hour, how are you going to continue to rise and work towards that purpose? Because you haven't met that goal yet.
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::Christella Ilunga: So it's really about identifying yourself.
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::Christella Ilunga: Setting goals, really deeply searching your… yourself.
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::Christella Ilunga: your mind, how you think, recognizing some of the negative thinking patterns that hold us back. I also, went to a mindset school. Peggy Eastern, I don't want to say the wrong last name, I believe that's her. Her first name is Stephanie Peggy. She had, like, a mindset school. I was a part of it for a little while, just working on rewiring the way that we think. Going back to Romans 12.2, renewing your mind. Like, why are you thinking
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::Christella Ilunga: thinking like that. What does God expect you to think in this moment? Is it really over? Because a lot of times when we make mistakes or things don't work out, we believe it's the end of everything. It's so dramatic, but it… when you're trained to think like that, it's hard to snap out of. So that's really what inspired me to create the e-book.
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::Christella Ilunga: I love that. And…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's the all or nothing.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I know when we first started, my husband and I drove trucks together for a year, and when we first got started.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: he grew up in California, and I grew up all over the world, but neither one of us was really proficient at driving in snow, and so we were… in our minds, winter was going to be, like, 3 months of
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Snow…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Falling, just, like, huge storms, and we're gonna be driving in snow and ice the whole 3 months of winter.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It doesn't work like that. It's like, you get… yeah, there's gonna be some storms. Usually, you'll just stop and wait for the storm to pass over, because storms are just in a small area, and it's like that in life. We tend to think that, oh no, this horrible thing happened!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: On a global scale, even. I, you know, this horrible thing happened, so now everything is gonna be different.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But it doesn't. We… we are very adaptable beings, and yes, a traumatic event occurred.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But we're gonna adapt, and there's still gonna be room for joy, and happiness, and change, and… you know, something better may come because of it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Like, I look at the pandemic.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that happened? It happened to the whole world, and it was supposed to, like, kill everybody. But so many amazing things came out of that. You know, people got to know themselves better. They…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: they made decisions about the way they were living their lives, and a lot of people started out on a different path when we all came back together and realized that, you know, hey, I'm really good at this one thing.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm not going to worry about that other stuff that I was supposed to be doing, because somebody said that's what I was supposed to do. It just… it…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It started the change that I think is really happening all over the world.
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::Christella Ilunga: Right.
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::Christella Ilunga: It… it definitely did. I… I think that…
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::Christella Ilunga: when people talk about snow, because I'm from Africa, I was born in Africa, I never had seen snow until I was 5 years old.
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::Christella Ilunga: So, when people talk about snow, I think about my first time seeing snow, and I was so excited, because I was a kid. But as an adult, when you see how people respond to snow, and you're like, oh.
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::Christella Ilunga: you really don't know what it's like to have a snowstorm. And it helps you kind of recognize that, like, we really all don't have the same experience, and although we're all living in one world, we really do live in separate dimensions of the world, like…
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::Christella Ilunga: And I could just imagine, like, your face if you had, like, 10 feet of snow and were, like, stuck in the house for days. Has that ever happened to you? In Mass, that happened to us when we were younger, and I was like, oh my god.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It did happen. We were in the Colorado snowstorm, the St. Patrick's Day storm.
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::Christella Ilunga: Oh my god.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's, like, 2000, or…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: 2001 or something, maybe it was a little later. It was literally 5 feet of snow, and we had to dig our way out. My husband had to park outside of the cul-de-sac, because it was literally over our waist to walk out into the cul-de-sac.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You couldn't drive in it, and all the neighbors had to come out.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: shovel the snow. My son had decided he… he'd taken our shovel down the street, and he and his friend were digging for treasure, and they ate the shovels down flat, so they got snow knots.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Father's a whole bunch.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But, yeah, it's… Everybody experiences everything differently.
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::Christella Ilunga: Yeah.
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::Christella Ilunga: And that's exactly what that teaches you, like, perspective and compassion. Because if you've seen snow all your life, and some people, this happens, like…
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::Christella Ilunga: Down south, they get, like, this much snow, and they start freaking out. So, those of us who've had snow, like, our whole life, we just kind of look at them like, what? You know, like, what is wrong with you guys? This is not that serious. We would go to school in that snow. Like, life still keeps pushing. Like, they'll shut down the whole city.
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::Christella Ilunga: For snow, and it's not until, like, I actually went to the South that I was like, oh, this is why they react like that. Like, this is… this is unrealistic for them.
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::Christella Ilunga: And as a coach, you have to understand that.
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::Christella Ilunga: People's experiences are nothing like yours. Sometimes, and it's not everyone, sometimes coaches forget that. They connect with others, and they're like, you remind me of me, and I'm like, yeah, but remember that I'm not you.
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::Christella Ilunga: I have a different background, I have a different experience, I… you know what I mean? Like, and you have to disconnect from yourself, and disassociate a little bit, so that you can really give your client what they need, and you don't, like, project yourself onto them. And I wanna… I know you're interviewing me, but I want to know
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::Christella Ilunga: How you work through that, or if maybe that's a private
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::Christella Ilunga: Question to ask, because maybe that's something that you help people with.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm willing to answer it, and it's really about holding space for people.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and allowing them to be who they are. I have a lot of technical skills, like, I can tell people how to do things that they need to do in order to get the bigger picture of what they want to do, versus having somebody,
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm not really good at having people come along and say, you know, make me a star, because that's not my job.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you're gonna shine how you're supposed to shine, but it's just like raising kids. You know, if you encourage them in the areas that they…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: are naturally… they have a natural tendency towards, instead of trying to tell them what they're gonna do, say, what do you like to do? And how can we make this… how can I help you gather the resources
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to… To shine that light in the way that you were designed to shine it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And that's how I approach my clients. I don't… they're like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm old, so everybody's like a kid to me.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I love my children, and I think they're amazing human beings, but it was because I didn't send them to school, and I really didn't grade them on anything.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I didn't judge him about, you know.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: who they… they fundamentally are, and I think schools do that a lot.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And coaches will sometimes make you feel like they're judging you on how well you emulate what they're doing.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And so…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you can't. They're just gonna be who they're gonna be. You can show them the tools, and how to use the tools, but you…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can't really…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: do it for them. It's their life. They're gonna live it, and you should be excited by, you know, how they're gonna live it, and how they're gonna take the other experiences that they've had, and share those, too.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because you didn't have those experiences, so…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: what you're presenting is just, like, a small piece. It's like, we read lots of books, we don't just read one and figure that's it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Even the Bible has, you know, 66.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Just, like, two stories, and you're done. Okay, you're good.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's a conglomeration of a lot of different experiences that… that lay out a plan.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And… And to some extent, you do get to pick and choose.
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::Christella Ilunga: There's a…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: An overarching theme, that it's gonna look differently for everyone.
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::Christella Ilunga: Exactly. I love how you put that, because it does, and it reminds me of being a teacher. You get the assignment, you teach the lesson, but you don't get to decide if they retain the information.
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::Christella Ilunga: If they can output what was input into them, and how they use their, like, background knowledge or prior knowledge
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::Christella Ilunga: to really bring everything together. It's so fun, like, when you give a lesson, and then you get the papers back, or a test back, and you look, and you're just like, where did you guys get these answers from? And then you really have to remember, like, we do assessments, you have to remember.
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::Christella Ilunga: this one never learned this. This one learned this at this other school. Like, experience. Like, it… like you said, for kids, no matter how you raise them, their experience is not going to be exactly how you were raised. Being Congolese, it's just an, it's a,
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::Christella Ilunga: an ethnicity thing, it's an ethnic thing. Like, if you are of any other ethnicity, more than likely your parents tried to tell you, well, when we were growing up, this is how it was. Well, guess what? It's not like that for us now. It's always the response, and
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::Christella Ilunga: I feel like the growth that a lot of parents in this generation had to make is to break that cycle of assuming that they have to pass on all of the…
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::Christella Ilunga: hmm, how do I say this? Concepts and ideals that they grew up on, because the times are so different, digitally.
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::Christella Ilunga: in general, that… that alone has shifted so many things. So the way that you raise kids now is so different than before, where you could teach them these core values and concepts, and they go.
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::Christella Ilunga: But now, you teach kids things, and they can…
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::Christella Ilunga: be exposed to the internet, and 50 million people who can tell them other things and sway them, and that's why having a solid foundation is so important. And I want to ask.
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::Christella Ilunga: play.
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::Christella Ilunga: how do you promote having a solid foundation? Because, like, I know, like, you asked me that question, and for me, it's finding a purpose, but for someone who does not have a purpose, how would you promote it? Finding a solid foundation in a world where you have so many different ideals and ideas being put in front of you every single day?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I don't know How would you?
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::Christella Ilunga: I mean, the identity and the purpose booklet has, a portion where you do have to… I mean, e-book, sorry. You do have to consider what your core values are, and
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::Christella Ilunga: Once you identify your core values, it's really a choice to sway, like, stray or sway from it.
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::Christella Ilunga: And when you do that, you betray yourself, because you're like, this is who I am, and this is what I believe, and this is why I'm here. The moment you do anything contrary to that, you're basically telling yourself, no, actually, I want to be someone else. I actually don't even believe in what I believe in. So I guess that's, like, my way.
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::Christella Ilunga: always remembering that your beliefs should be the center of who you are, your core beliefs and values. Yes, they can change, grow, adapt, and develop, but only to a certain extent.
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::Christella Ilunga: Because it's the core of who you are, so you can't always do a 180 every single time, otherwise you're not a stable person. That's just my personal opinion. If every piece of information presented to you makes you do a 180, makes you be completely different every time, you have no solid foundation.
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::Christella Ilunga: that's just how I see things, and I always wonder if other people think that's a little insane or, extreme, but I don't know.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I actually think it's really smart, and I can tell you from personal experience that once you do know what your core values are.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I would suggest, you know, maybe, like, 3 or 5?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: If you filter your whole life through it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It makes your life run smoothly. When you start…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: When you don't know what your values are.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What your core values are, the things that are, like, They're your boundaries.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Ultimately.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you know, people talk about boundaries, but they allow you to make decisions in your life about what you're gonna do, or how you're gonna do it, and without having that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: those core values, it's really difficult.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: To n…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to not be swayed around and moved, because you're… you're… you're standing on shifting sand, as Bob likes to say.
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::Christella Ilunga: Yeah, and the Bible talks about that. Two different houses that are built. One that can be easily tossed away into the sea, because of the foundation, the way it's built, it's built on sand, and then the one that's built on a solid foundation is harder when a wave comes, and that's usually
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::Christella Ilunga: what happens with every… every problem that anyone faces. It's either you're going to stand firm and steady, or you're going to crash and collapse, and then how you come…
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::Christella Ilunga: Back from the crashing and collapsing, because sometimes, even if you have a solid foundation, you've just dealt with too much, and you're just ready to…
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::Christella Ilunga: let it, you know, let go and let loose, I don't know.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, but having… understanding and identifying what your core values are.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It allows you to keep from getting crushed.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: By all these pieces. And in some ways, it allows you to put up a wall that protects you from it, because you're not going to make decisions that are going to lead you into situations where it's contrary to your core values. Like, one of my core values is peace, and I don't like to get in situations where my peace is disturbed.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It makes my life miserable.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And so, I work really hard.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to only put myself in situations where I can experience peace.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And integrity and abundance for all. Those are my core values. And I try to organize my life in a way that those core values are
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're like the little gate. You're not getting past the gate if you're, like, pinching on one of those three things that are gonna, like, affect me personally.
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::Christella Ilunga: Right. And it…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it is very personal. So when it comes to coaching, do you do it in groups, one-on-one? How does all of that look?
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::Christella Ilunga: So, if we're doing, like, public speaking or a confidence course, I can do that in groups because they're an exercise that we can all benefit from. But for personalized, like, life coaching, which I'm still working on being officially certified for, but people still trust me with their life.
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::Christella Ilunga: But I thank God that they do, but I just feel like I feel like I should be certified, but whatever. I'd rather do that one-on-one, because there is no life that's the same. I can't give everyone the same advice. It's not going to help everyone in that time.
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::Christella Ilunga: space and whatever it is that they're going on. It's not going… the advice will not be applied
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::Christella Ilunga: to each individual, so I guess it depends on…
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::Christella Ilunga: why they're coming to be coached. But for confidence coaching, yeah, we can… everyone can benefit from all of the same things, because the issue with confidence is always self-esteem, self-image, and what you say to yourself, like, your inner script, in my opinion.
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::Christella Ilunga: And other people have other opinions, and I'm very open to hearing that. I feel like coaches can actually benefit from learning from each other, because that's how our clients grow. In ABA, what we do as therapists, we all basically do the same thing, but we do it so differently, and sometimes we do this thing called co-treating, where two therapists come together, because we both work with the same client.
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::Christella Ilunga: We talk about what worked for us and what didn't, and we show each other how we work with specific clients, and we learn.
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::Christella Ilunga: he gives me a hard time with this, but it's because I did this like this, and you do it this way, and it seems to work better for him, so you're really learning,
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::Christella Ilunga: how your client responds to certain things is what will help your treatment, like, I don't know, be amplified, and the outcome be better, like, help us really meet those goals, and that's why I love the ABA. It gave us that, like…
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::Christella Ilunga: option. We can co-treat and come together. I ended up being a trainer, and I hated being a trainer, because you don't work with any other kids, you just talk to adults all day, that's so boring. And part of the… the light work of that field is working, interacting with the kids, and just helping them to smile, watching people grow and develop. It's something that I just love. I'm, like, a stickler for rags.
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::Christella Ilunga: I love it so much, so when people are sad, I hate it, but,
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::Christella Ilunga: Getting to work with other coaches, even what you're doing, like, that's so great, because just because you have the title doesn't mean you know it all.
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::Christella Ilunga: And everyone, no matter where you are in life, you have to learn from other people, especially people who do the same thing as you. They're pastors, they're men of God, they come together for conventions, they all have their own churches, but they come to learn from each other. Teachers do it, like, you know? All these different professionals, they have these spaces where they decide, you know what?
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::Christella Ilunga: We need to learn from one another, because there might be something that you're doing that's effective, or something that I'm doing that's effective, and this is how we all learn and grow. If our goal and our intention is to really help our clients, it's not about who's the best at what we do. It's about
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::Christella Ilunga: the overall outcome of a healthier society in that size.
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::Christella Ilunga: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I… I couldn't agree with you more. It's really… it's the whole ripple effect, and…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I really believe that people find who they're supposed to find.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It doesn't matter. I just want everybody to find what they need in order to heal and…
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::Christella Ilunga: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So we can… Can I have an experience here on this?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: realm that Is… is wonderful.
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::Christella Ilunga: Yes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, how can people find you?
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::Christella Ilunga: So, I am working on the website. It used to be out. I have a lot of hard time keeping up with it, so I'm working on that, maybe finding an assistant.
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::Christella Ilunga: But the website will be up, and you can find it in the Linktree, which is on my Instagram. If you go on Instagram and click on my bio, everything is on Linktree, and I do update that. But when I had a website, I was just not keeping up with it. That is something that I need to work on, because, like I said, we're all a work in progress.
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::Christella Ilunga: But yeah, that's the name. And then an email. I'm very… if you email me, I'm very quick to answer, because I have to check it for work, and for pageantry, or for my organizations that I, like, volunteer for anyway, so email sometimes, you can reach me through email before you reach me through a text message, so that's also, like, a very…
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::Christella Ilunga: good ways.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, what is your email for the audience?
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::Christella Ilunga: Okay, so it is my first name… C-H-R-I-S-C-E-L-L-A,
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::Christella Ilunga: Mervais, M-E-R-V-E-I-L-L-E-I-L-U at gmail.com. So, Christella Mervais, I-L-U at gmail.com.
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::Christella Ilunga: I should probably get an easier… We're gonna work on that.
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::Christella Ilunga: Or contact Aeris Culture. That is very easy to remember, and it's exactly what it sounds like. It's spelt like. That is, the business name where I sell the e-book through. Eris Culture is the LLC, that I started coaching through in the first place. So, that's also…
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::Christella Ilunga: Yeah, so there's two. I don't know if we can put it on the screen somewhere.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I would definitely put it in the show notes.
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::Christella Ilunga: Okay, there, there we go, that works.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Thank you so much for joining us today, Christella. It's been a great conversation.
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::Christella Ilunga: Thank you for having me, I really appreciate it, and I'm actually looking forward to working with you one day, because I think that the conversation, the questions that you ask, they're very beneficial, and you really have me thinking, and I don't know, I love to think a lot. I love when people, like.
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::Christella Ilunga: pick my brain and, like, make things turn and twist in there, so yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: To learn more about Christella and to get her e-book, please visit Linktree, it's link, T-R dot E-E, forward slash Christella M.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Laguna.
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::Christella Ilunga: Be longer.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Bilonga.
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::Christella Ilunga: Okay.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I was doing so good on that, and then… then I got the other thing in my mind, and then… then I never know which one's right.
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::Christella Ilunga: Okay.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So we'll be sure to put the link in the show notes, too, as well as her email address and her Instagram account. Thanks for tuning in today to the UWorld Order Showcase Podcast. If you're ready to amplify your voice, monetize your mission, and start attracting premium clients, your next step is simple. Head over to Coachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit. Be sure to join us for our next episode as we share what others are doing
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to raise the global frequency, and remember, change begins with you. You have all this power to change the world. Start today and get busy.
