Heather Jones - Soul Deep Self Care for Mompreneurs

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Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we have with us Heather Jones. Heather is a life coach from entrepreneurs. She guides entrepreneurs to embrace their power, take confidence, strides and create lives as vibrant as their.

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Dreams. Welcome to the show, Heather. It's so nice to have you with us.

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Hi, thank you so much. It's so great to be here, Jill.

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So tell us your story. I know you said.

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You were a military wife there for a while.

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Kind of curious about that.

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Yes, I have.

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A 41 year long story. How much of it do you want to hear?

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Tell us at all.

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We don't have time for that. Let's see how brief I can keep this and give as much detail.

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As possible. OK, so yes, I am. I am a veteran. I'm an Army veteran myself. I am the wife of an army retiree. We have a 10 year old boy, an 8 year old girl.

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OK.

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I started my entrepreneurial journey about five 5 1/2 years ago when I opened my first Etsy shop, of which I had three have gone through 8000 changes over the years. So I will spare you the details on that, but ultimately getting involved in Etsy and having my own Etsy shops little by little.

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Add me to where I am today as a coach, which sounds weird because they're two very different things.

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But it's likely normal to.

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Me. Yeah. You know, I say.

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That, but it probably is. Anybody who's been on.

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The entrepreneurial journey.

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Probably has had a path so.

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Yeah, that was actually pretty brief.

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And Nancy's a great stepping stone.

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Did you?

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Create your own products.

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I did. I did so.

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No. So the, UM, everything has always been mine. I started with crochet. I taught. I went to YouTube and learned how to crochet and I started selling like crochet hats and little fun things. I ended up starting.

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To do handmade signs where I use this stencil, I have no natural artistic ability, so like I can't draw, but I used a stencil and I would create handmade signs like little home decor kind of signs.

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And then eventually transitioned into digital. But it's still all things that I create and then they're printable. So I don't do print on demand per se, but.

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It's very cool. I had a journey through Etsy for a while too.

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Did you?

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Have done so many things.

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It's kind of like it is a journey and.

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Kind of it leads you.

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Along this path and there's like the UPS and.

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Downs on the.

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Entrepreneurial side that then there's also the personal journey that you go through that leads you to become a coach and tell us about that story.

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A little bit.

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OK.

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OK.

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So specifically regarding my journey from Etsy to life coach, what happened was I was at the time that I started that transition. I had already stopped doing the crochet hats. I had realized that I love to crochet. It's so much fun, I still do.

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It today.

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But it's not really scaleable because you can only crochet so much with your two little hands and you know so quickly and.

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You get pretty.

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Fast and I did. And so I could do some more wood signs than I could crochet. You could scale that a little bit, but even that I was recognizing wasn't scalable in the way I wanted.

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It to be.

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And unfortunately, I have some health issues. I have damaged spine so my neck and back were just getting really painful when I was kind of bent over the signs trying to do the detail work. And you know what comes along with really have to having to turn out a nice product and it was just getting painful.

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And so I was realizing I needed to find something different, and it probably wasn't going to be handmade.

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And so I just went to Google like Google's brilliant. It knows everything. Let me see what they have to say. So I went to Google and I just did something like a simple search. Like what can I do from home or, I don't know, something really simple like that.

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And one of the things that came up was.

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Life coaching.

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And the reason it stood out to me was because I had had a close family member who had years and years and years before that kind of dropped a bug in my ear and she was like, you would make the best life coach. You'd be such a great life coach. You should be a life coach. And I was like, no idea what that is because this was well before life. Coaching was a huge thing, didn't know what it was.

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I was in a nine to five at that time. I was securing my job and so I was like in in one year and out the other. But when I saw it, it peaked my interest because that conversation came back to me and I was like, OK, let me.

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Dig in and see what this was.

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And the more?

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I read about it. I was like ohh yes.

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Every endeavor that I've had to this point has pointed directly to this, and I just didn't know it was coming, but it was before me and I was like, yes, that is the thing. That is where I have been LED this whole time. I had always wanted to make people smile or make people giggle.

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Just leave them better than I found them. A lot of my signs and products were kind of.

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Silly, sarcastic, funny things that make people smile. And so when I saw life coaching and I was like, that is how I leave better than people better than I found them. So absolutely. I started to dive into that and figured out how I could get certified. Found out that I didn't have to get certified but realized I.

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I kind of did have to get.

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Because I just didn't know what.

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I was how to do.

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It so I needed some training and that's how I got into life, coach.

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Very cool. So how?

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Do you how do you life Coach?

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Oh, so I am.

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Technically I am a certified life coach and certified in SOMATICS, which means dealing with the body, so I help clients to kind of bring back together that mind body connection. That sounds silly.

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But we very much.

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Lose along the way because we do get so into our heads and so.

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Out of our body.

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These and I can do that through a number of ways. I do one-on-one coaching with clients to a lesser degree, just again because there's only so many people you can help when you're just in the one.

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On one scenario.

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But I also offer programs. I have a membership a monthly membership where I have a vault full of all of the products.

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Created from journaling prompts to guided meditations, I've recorded to all sorts of other things.

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That people could just.

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Really deep dive and see kind of what's going in underneath, going on underneath and then with the opportunity to.

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Do Voxer coaching, which for anybody who's not familiar with Voxer it's a texting app. You can do audio or you know, you can actually leave a voice note. Or you could just text like you would in a regular text message and then you know, so I have open office hours for that. So that allows me to be able to communicate with a lot more people. And it still gives that one-on-one.

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You know individual care, so it's still specialized for each person, which is the thing I kind of really love. I don't believe in one-size-fits-all. So like having an option where people can still go, hey, that didn't really work for me. What else is available?

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So I think people need that that you know.

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There's some basics when it comes to life coaching.

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Certified life coaches.

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Having gone through Etsy and now?

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I'm doing something totally different. That wasn't my mission. It's weird how life is like that, but I kept my, you know, hard life, coach.

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So when you're working with people.

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And you work a.

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Lot with entrepreneurs who are having to juggle, like kids and business and that's always challenging because you know, everybody's somewhere else in their in their journey. Some people are homeschooling.

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Some people send their kids to regular schools. Some people have schools that.

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Work on like.

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The whole year thing. And so they're off at random times and it's really difficult to juggle kids and.

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Working from home.

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Making a difference so.

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I'll talk a little bit about that.

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Yeah, it.

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Is really hard and I.

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Know that because I did.

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It and I do it.

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Still right cause Mike I am.

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As I was telling you a little while ago, before we started recording my I don't know, I think I actually did say this since we've been recording, my kids are 10:00 and 8:00, so we still have. They're still at home with me during breaks after school hours. You know, all of the things and days that they're sick.

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So there you do have to figure.

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Out how to juggle and.

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There's a couple of things that go into that.

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Right, there's first.

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Finding that that word or that not all people love, but I absolutely love the balance, the work life balance. How do I make everything flow harmoniously in my own way, and the way that feels good to me? How do I make work for me and home life? Work for me, and in a way where it doesn't feel like I'm in constant overwhelmed and burnout and stress, because there's always another thing to do. Right? So we find how she.

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Finds that balance and that flow also with time. That's just for her to decompress and to refill her cup. We, you know, we work on all of that stuff, so her whole self is attended to. And then because life is life and kids get sick and we get sick and things come up, we figure out how to give.

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Race and in between where things aren't balanced because one thing needs so much attention and that's just the way it is today or this week. And so during those times we learn how to give ourselves grace instead of beating up or being in a place of guilt or shame.

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That is so important, it's.

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When you're in your.

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Office. The whole house is calling you about the.

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Things that you need to be done when you're doing those things. Your office is.

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Like, hey, hey.

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You should be doing this.

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Right now I have a sign on my outside door that says recording in progress. Please do not disturb one of my children is home with me. She has been advised not to knock on my door.

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The other one is with a friend I have spoken to both him, my child and the friend's mom, about not.

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Interrupting like.

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There are moments where we just have to let everybody know. I know you're going to need me because I'm mom and everybody needs mom all of the time. Give me an hour.

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And I just need an hour. Then you can get ping me again.

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I have gotten.

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Because I've done this for so long, I've actually been online as an entrepreneur for like 20 years.

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I was.

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One of a Webber's first customers.

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Holy cow.

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That's how.

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Long I've been around this, this sort of thing, and I used to really worry about my kids being.

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In the picture.

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And now I'm just like I.

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Could care less if your kids come in. You just take 5 minutes and you deal with them because they are the most important thing. It's not. It's not the hour you spend with me.

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They are the next generation. That's your most important job, in my opinion. It's and.

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There are times when I do this podcast was like now you know.

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My dog just.

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Came in the.

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Room took me out for a second cause I did not see a person. There was.

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A dog there.

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So yeah, life happens on cue, apparently.

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I hear them.

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We just needed a real life example.

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He is like my child these days. He's about six months old and.

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Oh yeah, I need a lot of attention at that age.

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Yeah, he does my love doggies.

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Yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that you opened that up for because you know, we do. We, my kids are a little older. So if they were younger, I don't think that telling them, hey, I need 30 minutes and you can during an emergency you.

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Absolutely. Come get me. Otherwise, you know, you get a free hour of TV today and they're fine with that.

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They're young. They don't think that would work so well and having people like you who open that space and make it safe for Mom Preneurs who work from home to be moms when they need to be moms in the moment. That's amazing. That's everything.

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It is really important and I think more and more people are coming to realize that, you know, it's kind of ridiculous to expect moms to work at home.

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And not be available for their.

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Kids because.

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Or even dads for that matter. I think the pandemic really kind of opened.

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Companies eyes to that more than ever before, it used to just be I know when I was young, when I had my older kids.

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Please stop that, I would just.

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Go to work and they would have to go to.

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Daycare, wherever they went to school and then somebody would watch them after school until I got home. But it was just like it was 2 separate lives. It wasn't.

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The blending of life and to me life is to be lived. Your kids are part of your life. Your husband's part of.

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Your life, your.

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Extended family is.

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Part of your life, I mean it.

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It's just like.

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You can't just separate everything into like.

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Compartmentalizing, yeah.

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Yeah. And I think having coaches around that are like, live your life, be your best, you.

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Yeah, give.

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And.

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Yourself space to be human.

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I watch television every night.

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For a couple hours, it's it by myself. Up in my bedroom and it's just like it's my time and I don't feel guilty about it.

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There was a time.

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When I would have felt guilty about.

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It, but I don't.

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It's just like this is how I choose.

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To decompress, done all.

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The things that I'm going to do for today.

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Yes, there's other things I could be doing.

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Yeah, but I'm not going to do them.

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Right. And I think to that note, even if you haven't done all the things you plan to do and you need to decompress anyways.

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You need to be able to give yourself that space to just have the permission and not feel guilty, but OK, you didn't get that thing done, and that's OK you need to unwind anyway. Do that and be OK with that. Don't feel guilty the whole time.

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Yeah, it's the getting rid of that, that guilt for taking time for yourself to just.

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Let your brain.

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Have a vacation for a little bit.

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And you.

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Have actually something that you offer people that helps along these lines you want to.

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Talk about that a little bit.

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Yes, thank you. So it's a simple practice, but super impactful. I've created a PDF. It's three ways to stop the mom guilt on the spot. It's three steps actually shouldn't say three ways. It's three steps. So it is one thing that you do. There's three simple steps to it and it helps to clear that guilt from your mind that's driving you nuts.

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Critiquing you and, you know, making you feel horrible.

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Yeah. And, you know, a lot of that's just.

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All in your head, it's.

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Well, in your head, in your body, it moves into your body if.

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You don't excavate it from your head quickly if you let it settle in, it will go ahead and settle into your body as well. But yes it, I mean it's not like real life things that are pressuring us most of the time, right? It's this imagined thing.

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That we've created.

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Or that's been imposed upon us, that we've allowed.

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To live there.

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Allowed to live there. That's really key.

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It doesn't.

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And it's so easy to do. You just you can just let your mind start magnifying this thing that.

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You feel that you have to do or you should be doing, or you're supposed to be responsible for, but it's not.

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Really nobody else.

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Really cares.

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I think that's so true. You know my I'm already. I call myself a recovering perfectionist because it the perfectionism.

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I don't think it ever goes away. We just learned to attend to quieting it better.

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But you know this, I didn't start attending to that perfectionism until I was in my late 30s, which was just a.

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Few years ago.

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And even today and then, it all creeps up in my husband, who I've been with for 0018.

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Years. I don't know. I'm not gonna do the math a long time.

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No, he said to me that there, he's like, why do you try so hard? And I can't even tell you what we were talking about and what he was referring to, but I know.

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That whatever it was at that time.

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It was, it was like I got hit with a ton of bricks. I'm like in this particular instance, he's right. Why am I trying so hard? Ohh, because my perfectionist told me that.

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I have to.

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There's no real good reason why I was putting so much pressure on myself.

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In that moment.

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Used to do that with the holidays I had in my mind how the holidays were supposed to go, and it would. It was disappointing to me every year because they would never go the way I thought they were supposed to go and for a while I actually, we didn't do Christmas.

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For like 7 years.

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I had gone down this other path.

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But that's a different story.

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But we had family Appreciation Day and that was so much better, just like it allowed me to just push all of these imaginary.

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Things that I had.

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Created around this these holidays that I felt had to be just perfect to.

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To just being able to.

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Appreciate time with my family because that.

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Was what I decided this holiday was going to.

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Be all about.

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Oh, I love that.

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So as I moved back into celebrating the holidays, it's taken a whole different trajectory and it's we used paper plates I used to.

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Be like China.

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Silver, mass.

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Planning for the meal now? It's like 5 minutes on the phone with the kids. We're going to your house. Paper plates. Yep. Yep. Do we want to mash the potatoes or roast them? Roasting is much easier and faster. But you.

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Know if you really.

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Are dead set on cleaning the pan from the mashed potatoes. We'll do that.

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It's a lot more fun. We have a great time. Nobody has to feel like.

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There's no.

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We have to.

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Deal with all of this.

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Stuff. And you know what?

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If the China gets broken.

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Because that's always on the back of.

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My mind.

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Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, man. The holidays do bring so much stress for so many of.

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Us that's such.

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A wonderful shift and way of being.

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I'm. I'm slowly trying to get there.

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It takes a minute.

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Who's to doing the full dinner? All the desserts, all the things. And be like I said, because we're military, family. We're usually not with our, you know, parents and siblings and extended family. And so it's either like a friend's giving or a friends get together or just the four of us.

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And so I usually do all of the meal, all of the desserts, all of the things. And it really is stressful. But little by little. I'm trying to, just like, you know what, I'm not gonna do sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes. Let's pick one. I'm not going to do all the things.

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I used to make cookies and bread and I mean I had a really long list of and lots of years because I had kids for like, you know, 40 years to really perfect the perfectionism of how things are supposed to be.

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And I grew up in the military, so I do.

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Understand the that you don't have extended family and that whole thing was always kind of weird to me. You know, the whole what do you do with your kids and your grandkids? And because I don't have anybody to model it after.

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I don't know.

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We're probably doing it all wrong, but it.

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Works for us.

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You're doing it right for you.

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Right, that's what matters.

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That's all that matters, and people should do it right for themselves too.

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So how do people work with you?

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How did they get in touch with you and how do how does that all work?

:: 21:36

So I offer a free consultation call and then that way we can determine what the individual person needs, whether she really needs that one-on-one, like deep in depth coaching, or whether she's kind of, uh, you know, ready to get at.

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It and can.

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Do the thing and dive right in and maybe the membership is better suited for her.

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But we start with that consultation call and just get to know each other a little bit and see what she really needs.

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That sounds really good.

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So when you're when.

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You're working with homepreneurs. What do you have like a parameter for? What kinds of things you would help them with?

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I used the word confidence because it encompasses so much.

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Of what we.

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Would go over, but I realize it's a little obscure to a lot of people outside of.

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My brain so.

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That looks like.

:: 22:33

Attending to building self esteem if that's a thing that's necessary.

:: 22:39

The self-care is almost always a thing that needs to be attended to, so typically that setting boundaries, goal setting, whether that's professionally or personally, those are all things we dive into that work life balance, or if you like harmony and flow is a huge thing. That's pretty much always going to come up. And occasionally especially with.

:: 23:01

You know entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs and Pastor syndrome tends to have a big role in what's going on, what's keeping us stuck. And so that's also a thing that we can dive into is dealing with that impostor syndrome and overcoming it healing from it.

:: 23:17

Mostly with coaches. Or do you work with?

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People that are doing other types of.

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Entrepreneurial experiences.

:: 23:26

No, no, a combination, not just coaches.

:: 23:29

That's great. That's great. Trying to keep my dog.

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Thank you.

:: 23:36

I love dogs. I love seeing your dogs. We don't have one right now we haven't had one in a couple of years, but this is the first time in my adult life that I've not had a dog and so.

:: 23:47

It was get excited when I get to see other people's dogs.

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I don't think.

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I've had a period in my life where I haven't had a dog in my life.

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They've just.

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Always been a part of my life since I was really young.

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We have a slew of other types of animals.

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Because I said that we weren't going to get another dog and we ended up with nine other animals instead, I don't think that worked out the way I thought it would.

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So this is Charlie weep, Bob.

:: 24:25

I think he gets confused when I talk to the computer and he can't hear the other side of the conversation. What's?

:: 24:32

Going on over there.

:: 24:36

Are you talking to yourself? You could be talking.

:: 24:39

To me, that's right.

:: 24:45

So how do people get in touch with?

:: 24:46

You. What's your website?

:: 24:47

OK, so the easiest way is UM through my website, because everywhere that I am socially on social media exists on my website, all of my links. So the website is Heather jonescoaching.com.

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And they can e-mail me. They can find me on social media wherever else they want to discover me.

:: 25:07

Perfect. And what's the one thing you want to?

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Leave the audience with today.

:: 25:13

Oh my. OK, so we talked a lot about perfectionism and guilt which goes they kind of go hand in hand with each other. A lot of the times. And So what I would tell you.

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Got it.

:: 25:27

Is get curious because that's the first thing, right? We don't even know a lot of times this stuff is going on or that it doesn't have to be our.

:: 25:34

More so, if the word perfectionism or perfect or getting things perfect or even guilt is kind of going Ding, Ding, Ding I I'm relating to that start getting curious about when that stuff is coming up for you and if you can give yourself permission to let it go. And I realize that's easier.

:: 25:55

And then done. That's why coaches exist. That's why we are here. But that is probably one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is not to put that pressure on yourself.

:: 26:07

And it really is putting pressure on yourself because nobody else is really putting that pressure on you.

:: 26:13

It really ends.

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Up being us, doesn't it? When you look around, you're like nobody told.

:: 26:17

Me that I had to do.

:: 26:18

That, or if they did, it was a long time ago and I just carried it for so long and I don't have to carry it anymore.

:: 26:24

Yeah. And a lot of it was just a transfer of somebody else's expectations to try and.

:: 26:31

The chief perfectionism that you're like?

:: 26:35

They did it. They did.

:: 26:37

It I should be able.

:: 26:38

To do it, you know, just let it go.

:: 26:41

I know we could get on a whole other tangent there, but I bet they didn't do it.

:: 26:45

The way you thought they did, yeah.

:: 26:47

Or with the.

:: 26:50

The enthusiasm that you might have perceived.

:: 26:55

There was.

:: 26:56

There was the guilt.

:: 26:57

That always, like you said, follows along with it.

:: 27:00

Yeah, there there's things going on behind the mind that you don't see behind closed doors that you don't see. So yeah, absolutely. Give yourself the gift of getting curious about when that's coming up. And do your absolute best to offer yourself permission to let it go.

:: 27:17

Thank you so much for joining me today.

:: 27:19

My pleasure. Thank you for having me.