Episode 237

full
Published on:

21st Jan 2024

Radenko Suvajac - Quit Smoking with LiONS and Crush the Nicotine Grip

In this encouraging episode, Radenko Suvajac, a transformational coach and author, addresses the persistent smoking epidemic. Radenko discusses the complexities of quitting smoking and the importance of setting motivating goals. Throughout the episode, he encourages listeners to envision a life without smoking, emphasizing the shift from focusing on consequences to the benefits of a smoke-free existence.

Learn about Coach Rad's Course!

Discover more about the Li.O.N.S. Method at LionsMethod.com


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Transcript
::

Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we have with us Rad and Rad can pronounce his own last name.

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OK. We already talk about it. I will not torture people. OK. So my name is Radenko, if you like that, you know, Eastern Sound, Radenko Radenko, ‘Coach Rad’, Suvajac. So that's pretty much.

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I would have never got that one, never guessed it in 100 years.

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Yeah, it's gonna.

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Yeah, spell it. The Spelling is wrong. It would probably be S double O EE AYA.

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Z that would be probably better.

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Yeah, I might have a chance, but that's okay. You are a.

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Actually, you're kind of a transformational coach.

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Yes. And.

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You're an author.

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Of Crush The Grip Of Nicotine And Break The Chains Of Addiction. So I'd like to welcome you to the show. I'm so glad that you decided to come join us, even though it's like.

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The middle of the night where you are.

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It's an occupational hazard.

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Different time zones.

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And the and the wonders of the internet.

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And wonders of the Internet. Yeah, I love this.

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Heavy too. So is smoking.

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Still, a really big deal in Europe.

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Oh yes. For example, in France you have probably population of 30% of people actively smoking like one or two packs a day in Germany. In some provinces it's not even forbidden to advertise cigarettes, so you can still see billboards. In my country.

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It's more common to see people who smoke than those who don't. You know, as everywhere in the world. You know, people start smoking a really young age.

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Even with all the systems that should prevent that, if I understand correctly, last statistics that the United States 17 or 11%, the latest 2021, 17% of people still smoke.

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What I didn't realize how popular in United States is vaping devices.

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I don't judge people for their choices. I just don't see, you know, even when I was smoker, when those e-cigarettes first time showed up.

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I really it doesn't. It doesn't solve the core issue.

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It's still an addiction, you know like.

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For example, we switch I believe is less harmful.

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But it's less harmful, harmful.

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It's still harmful.

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There, it's still harmful, you know? And in the 60s, you know, you canGoogle archives of popular anti smoking as you say? Commercials.

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No organizations in the United States, and you can find a lot of files from the 50s and the 60s when the cigarettes were promoted as a way to.

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Improve your health so.

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You know, let's say this U.S. Army probably still most powerful army in the world.

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OK.

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Has a budget about $800 billion combined. Tobacco industry is $1 trillion.

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And you know, it's kind of.

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They have resources to make people believe what they want them to believe and.

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I don't think that they really want - my personal opinion is - that they don't really want people off their products. So OK, so that's why me and so many other great people who are helping people crush the grip of nicotine or even more important, break the chains of addiction are here to.

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Tip the scale in favor of humanity.

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I love that I.

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Actually used to smoke.

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I quit smoking twice in my lifetime. I quit the first time I started when I was maybe 17, I think, and then I quit when I was 21. I was pregnant and I could not be around.

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Cigarette smoke. It would make me throw up. It was just like it was really easy to quit. So. And then I went through another. I waited. It was maybe another 10 or 12 years.

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Then I went through this really stressful part of my life and I decided that smoking was a good idea again. So then I had to quit again, yeah.

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It was harder the second time.

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I was. I was quitting. But quitting when I was quitting, I couldn't quit. And I was explaining why that I four times or three times, I can't even remember anymore. Four times I started living the life of a nonsmoker instead of quitting.

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I don't even know how much time has passed since I stopped smoking. I don't count days and my method that's called the Lions smoking cessation method, LIONS is acronym of life of a non-smoker.

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Is based on that concept, so I really understood people. Look, we had a war here in the 90s and there's a lot of war veterans for civil war and everything.

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So people whose

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How bad that war was with like, for example, let's say Idaho starts war with.

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With what's the first neighborhood state? Wisconsin? Wyoming. OK, so, so same people, same language. And from some stupid ideology, people started war. And there's a lot of veterans.

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A lot of drama.

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A lot of everything that comes with that, and yeah, we can now see how that look like.

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Thanks to the Internet.

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And I met.

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The guy who was really tough, he was, he said. He sold some stuff in life and he was alcoholic.

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And he was drunk. He owns the bar. He even owns the bar. So he was drunk. Basically every day, all day.

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He knew he, he.

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Could smoke while he was drinking and working in a bar, 8 packs per day.

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OK. Oh my god.

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That's 160 cigarettes.

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Full flavored full nicotine in that time.

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160 cigarettes per day and he stops.

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His idea was I am buying them. They're not buying me. So that's a nice philosophy. But you really.

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Have to dig deep.

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To find out the modality, what? What changed the changed his mind. So basically he wanted to have authority over his life and.

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I know I never asked him, but I don't see. I noticed that he has a daughter, one daughter, and whenever she do, he does, you know, she put a few piercings in in his ears. So does he. She puts a tattoo, he puts a tattoo. So my idea is that.

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He wanted to, you know, he sold everything. He probably almost died. Who knows how many time. And now he has a.

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Daughter that's growing up and my idea was that he wants to spend more time, if it's possible with her. If it's possible to expand his life, let's do it so.

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She wasn't saying, like, you know, you know, I'm gonna be, like, 4 5 6 7 years without the cigarettes. He wanted to be there to. He was looking at the future. Like, you know, Lighthouse, you know.

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And later I’m at the doctor. She's a.

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She's a radiology specialist, private practice and everything really respectful here in my country and she happens to live in my town. And even if she's a specialist in the, let's say, official medicine, she's also into holistic medicine and everything, you know. So we actually met on a neurolinguistic programming certification that I attended that.

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Help me. To know this. And she told the story. I was still smoking when she was.

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Telling that story.

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She said.

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Her children, her two boys, were always criticizing her about cigarettes, so I never met anyone who stopped smoking because somebody criticized and told him you're ugly. You smell and everything. You know, I was defending myself, you know, when I was smoking. So negativity doesn't work. But her sons when she.

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Who gave birth to the girl child? Her daughter?

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Uh their sons? Daughter.

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The fact that you don't want to stop smoking and they were like 12 and 10 years.

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10 years old at that time.

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The fact that you don't want to stop smoking shows that you don't care about your children, even for that baby.

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And she was sitting, and she was like.

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If I don't stop smoking, I will lose as a parent authority over my children.

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And she stopped. Now there's a, as you know, smoke quitting smoking, stopping. Smoking is a complex there's chemical reaction. The body, there are withdrawal symptoms. There's a lot of things happening in the brain and the body, you know, who didn't try that, cannot understand what it is. And if you're crushing.

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Any addiction, it's a problem I quitted. I quit. Alcohol too. The same time. You know, I have both.

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Withdrawal symptoms. I experience it all the withdrawal symptoms.

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And you know, I use the tools for cognitive behavioral therapy that I learned as a patient to overcome with troubles and cravings and tools for neurolinguistic programming and help.

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To set myself on a path of the life of a non-smoker that I want.

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And I can shorten the process If your listener to explain the process in short.

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If your listeners would like to hear that what you think?

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I think they would.

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OK, so basically.

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We're going to build a lighthouse. So what's the function of the lighthouse when the

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Things getting bad.

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You see, you see the picture of life and light and you start to follow it so.

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The lighthouse in this situation is vision of life and non-smoker that I want to live. I want to create a goal.

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Goals as a by rules of smart model and pure model.

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Specific, measurable, realistic relevance to me and time bound that I want to achieve that is so great.

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That it's worth spending my entire life chasing that goal, even if I never achieve it.

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So in my great goal, you know, you of course your goal have to be aligned with your values and your identity and.

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I was in the past people pleaser. Too much. I do like helping people, you know, and I realize my core satisfaction is to help. It's selfish.

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But I don't really think about it. You know, if I can help somebody, I.

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Will do it, you know, so.

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I created great goal of helping so OK and I, you know define how can I help people? So I realize I realize, OK, I like coaching now so I can help people as a coach. OK, that's little bigger chunk smaller.

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So a smaller chunk. OK, I can help my parents. For example, in the case they need something.

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I can go.

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Lift, lift. Heavy objects. It's like I can help my neighbors with the groceries, for example, etcetera, you know, and what? What? What can I? So what do I need to be able to?

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Tell people more you know. OK, so if I wanna be coach, you know I have to, you know, continue my education. So I create a smaller goal. OK. Continue your education. If you cannot be emotional intelligence, marketing what?

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Whatever. OK. So in order to help people as much as possible, as long as I can. So I should have reasonably good help, you know.

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Etcetera. You know, I don't wanna draw.

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you with details.

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And there's a whole process. It's a really quickly quick process, how we define all those small goal, great goal and small chunks of that goal.

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Motivation. So the other thing is motivation. Why? Why do I want to stop smoking? OK, the common things are those that you hear on television, on newspaper and pamphlets, on Flyers and everything. You know, smoking is bad for your health. Oh really Sherlock!

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You know, like, I mean, every person on the planet who smokes if he knows to read one sentence in his life in any language, has heard that smoking is bad for his health. So we know that smoking can be dangerous for your life, you know. But you know, people are learning.

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From experience, you know many people who stop smoking because of their health.

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They're actually already sick. You know, they already got something that needs to be solved. So when they experience that fear, they stop smoking, you know?

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Not everything. Everything, but not everybody but great majority that people. So people that real motive, that motivation doesn't really affects them. They didn't have the effect on me because.

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You know, I was. I was you.

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Know I'm. I'm still young, you know, I.

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Can I can

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Do a lot of stuff.

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And smoking wasn't, you know, like a limitation for me, you know, I knew that that yeah, you know.

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Right.

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To my daughter, that one at one at one time. OK, we'll just read out. So. OK, OK.

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Health wasn't something.

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That keeps me awake, you know. You know, health is important, but people don't. Really. You know, most people don't really think so much about your health, you know, health. So, you know, even when I'm sick, I just want to go to the doctor, get my medication, finish with that, and forget all about it, you know, to continue with my life. So it was really something.

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That, that, that I, you know, don't keeps me awake so but when I have a goal I.

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Want to achieve a lot in life

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Everything on a path of achieving that goal.

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Every obstacle becomes experience or a tool.

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And the need of that time milestones, which I don't really have nothing against it, you know, but for me.

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Looking at the application, how much money I saved, how much days hours I've been without cigarettes. You know, it's just like driving while watching a review mirror, you know, you know, going forward, but you're looking in a review mirror, you know, you're gonna crash, you know.

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That was my. That's a philosophy from my methodology that I use with my clients.

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I will stop.

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There I think this is the essence.

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That if people contemplate over it, they can use.

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But basically anything you know, just switch the concept, you know, eating too much sugar.

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Yes, no, but you are.

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What would my life be the reduced sugar, you know, would look like, you know.

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That's pretty. So basically, yeah.

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It's sometimes.

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Do you? Do you have like substitutions? I know a lot of people in the United States, they do vape and they're thinking that that's better than.

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Smoking. And then maybe they're moving on from that to trying to overcome the nicotine.

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Addiction because you do get addicted to the substance, the chemical your body craves that chemical.

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Yes. Yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes. There. There's very few people who don't experience.

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Those symptoms, you know, I know people who are, you know, but they are physically strong people you.

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Know I know the guy.

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That that, he said. You know, I'm craving cigarettes, so.

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Much that I'm.

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You know, I feel like I'm gonna peel the skin off my body, you know?

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And those great, OK, I think the problem is with conditioning, OK? People are conditioning. That's our nature. You know, we cannot do much about it. Too afraid of those changes. So.

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Basically, what whatever is unusual that you experience, our body will first think about danger.

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OK.

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If you're not familiar with some sound, if you hear it violently for the first time, you know you're going to get scared, you're going, you're going to feel everything, your body shaking and everything, you know and.

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Shut this up.

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Let's imagine that you're working in some company for 20 years.

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You know nothing special, but you know it's good. It's, you know, day after day, there's a routine things repeating and you're OK with that, you know? And after 20 years, you get.

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E-mail that you're fired.

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With no explanation.

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How would you feel? Shocked

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And everything that goes.

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With it.

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Anxiety. What am I going to do here.

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You know, in this, in this, in this metaphor, you are the brain.

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They just received message.

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We don't smoke anymore.

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And smoking.

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So look we.

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I just want to get back, you know, everything we do in our life, we do to make our life better.

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We don't smoke to kill ourselves. We didn't smoke to kill ourselves.

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You smoke because there's a good attention to satisfy some need.

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Our brain every time nicotine touches.

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The brain releases dopamine, dopamine.

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And though and you need open without dopamine, you cannot get out of bed anymore.

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There are. There's other happy chemicals, you know, like, I forget the words. I forgot the name.

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That also got.

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Triggered. You know you need to open there. Serotonin right. OK, so turn and there's an error there now, but uh certainly dopamine

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So if you don't get that, you know there's a problem. You know, there comes depression and you don't have will to live. You don't have, you know, you cannot move, you can't do daily tasks, you know, and brain.

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Found the way, has found a way to get that dopamine quickly.

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Take a smoke.

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Nicotine kicks in dopamine and it really doesn't matter.

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Do you smoke?

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5/10/15 years 2 cigarettes a day 22 cigarettes a day or as my.

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As a person, I mentioned 160 cigarettes a day, brain has learned.

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That once you put that in your mouth.

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You get dopamine.

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And as a computer.

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Brain doesn't care or doesn't know.

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But is that good or not?

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He knows he needs it. It's an operating mechanism. Consequences of doing that are something else. Cancer, TOC, COPD, bad skin, everything. OK, that's something else.

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Imagine now that you're pulling that habit out of your life. Well, you don't have to imagine you experience that and calling our viewers to our listeners to imagine it.

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You take that out of your life suddenly.

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And your brain.

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With his limitless resources, will throw everything at you as possible to get you back on.

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As you said earlier, uh, there was a situation in your life where you came to the conclusion that it's better to continue smoking.

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It doesn't matter what the situation was. Mechanism is the same. I experienced it. Every person who tried to stop smoking more than once.

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Has experience praying just even, even if the situation is.

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Totally unconnected with smoking. You know there's no any connection with your brain will say. Look, you see how you take.

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A cigarette, you

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Relax. That's every message that your brain gives.

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So, so brain defends itself by making you afraid.

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It creates anxiety.

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He translates cravings into grave dangers for life. You know you're gonna die if you don't smoke. You know, that's the sensations that brain create in the brain and.

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We tend to defend ourselves, who are like, flight, fight or freeze. You know, people start.

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I'm gonna make it. You can. The devil won't take me and everything.

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What? What. The person

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Really needs to do in those moments.

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Is to say.

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Bring it on.

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OK, give me more cravings, you know.

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Come on, let me see how it work. Because in reality, those things are not real. Those are just thoughts and your interpretation of those thoughts, for example.

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I invite listeners and you to imagine that you are on a beach.

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Let's say in Florida, you know, there's a beautiful white sand.

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Seas sky sparkles blue.

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Air is beautiful. You know. How does that make you feel?

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Feels good.

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It was good. OK, now imagine that you're in.

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The burning house.

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That doesn't feel good.

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It doesn't feel good.

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Neither scenario is real. You're sitting here in front of your monitor and camera and talking to me. That's reality.

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OK.

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So our brain doesn't know the.

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Difference between reality and fiction.

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If you create images in your in your brain, brain will accept it and act upon it, OK?

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Good. OK, feel good. Bad image. Feel bad, right? OK.

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We have a situation here where something is pulled out of your life.

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That smoking and brain craves it.

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And it activates your negative imagination to torture until you.

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Until you get back to it.

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But if you say yourself, OK, I'm going to be happy for feeling bad, not convincing yourself that you know, it's nothing. You know, it's something that you feel, you know, you no need to deny I feel.

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Uncomfortable. Yeah, we have to use easy words, you know not to not give situation more than more power than it actually has. And it doesn't.

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Have any you know?

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If you say, OK, I wanted to see how.

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It feels to feel bad.

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You know, you know your arm not gonna fall.

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Up I'm gonna see.

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If my arm gonna fall out, fall down if I.

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Don't smoke, OK?

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If I choose to be without.

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Cigarettes, you know.

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And then you have that paradox. If you feel happy for feeling bad, one cancels the other. Eventually, Cravings pass away. When I figure out this method, the first thing I did when I stopped smoking. OK, look, I, I, I took pen and paper and write down wrote down. OK. I live in society.

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Probably 30 to 40% of adults smoke.

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Uh, less. But it's common in my here, in my in, in my office they're like.

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50 worker.

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About 20 people are smoking and there's a smoking room and there was twenty of us. Who smoke?

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So I figure out you know.

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I have friends who smoke.

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And I remember the words of my friend from college. He was the only guy in a in a in our in our group who that he didn't smoke. I asked him. I asked him once you know.

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How do you manage, you know, to, you know, he was drinking? They were all drinking like.

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10 to.

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Four, at least 10 beers each. You know you got drunk and he never wanted to take cigarettes.

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He took maybe one or two puffs. He didn't like it and throw it away and ask him how he managed to handle, you know, how is it possible that he doesn't have a temptation? You.

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Know and he told me. Well, look, you know, you just accept that people are around, you're going to smoke, you become OK with.

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Uh, smelly clothes and everything you know.

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And you know.

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then you stop noticing.

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So that day when I stopped smoking, I do the same philosophy and I went in the office and I sat with my friends close to them. And I was like joking, you know, I was, you know, laughing laughter gets the opening up and the chemicals and I said look, I stopped buying look.

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From this moment.

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I have stopped buying cigarettes and I'm gonna, and I'm gonna be a second.

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Hand smoker. You know here with you.

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Yeah, yeah. And they were.

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Laughing, you know? So they, they, they were like, do you want me to blow smoke in in your face? So now I will just sit here, you know, sniff it and then you know, you know, in a way they were supportive. You know eventually after two or three times I stopped going there.

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In a in a smoking room because you know.

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I figure out from those 20 people, you know, I only.

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Hang out with you, you know, 2.

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Outside work those other 18.

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I don't even, you know, like.

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And in the bars there were same situation and.

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You get temptation. You feel those temptations.

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And I figure out when I'm when I'm looking to the in the pack of cigarette, you know, people in our bars is still allowed to.

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Smoke. They still smoke

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When people hold a pack on a table, you know, though you, you probably know that those colors, everything was designed to, you know, to.

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Attractive, you know? Yeah, it's psychologically the psychology of colors

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And you know, and I felt like, you know, like, like in the in a in a Harry Potter movie when that when those dementors pulling out smoke? So you know I was I was I was feeling the same way and I was imagining that, you know, they're pulling me to see to the pack.

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And then I figure out you know.

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What is that object?

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Is a fistful of dead grass sprayed with some chemicals wrapped up in a fancy package.

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Is that object that item?

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Have power over my life.

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Am I going?

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To allow that object to have power on now.

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And I said it can't have power.

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Over my life.

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I said to you know, I always use great gratefulness. You know I always say thank you mind. Thank you cigarettes. You had your function in my life.

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But now I have to move on.

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Thank you.

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But you are just an object.

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You know.

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And when you fight and when you avoid fighting, you know when you stop, stop giving more power than it has. You know, like Death Sticks, Devil, Satan.

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Another dying you know religion, but you know.

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You're giving like a.

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You're giving that fistful of grass.

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Power of a.

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Supernatural being, you know, and.

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You're giving away your power as a human being as a.

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Miracle of Nature as the creation of God, you know you're giving that your power to.

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To one object.

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And there are also a situation where I where I didn't have the answer you.

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Know uh, for example, you don't have this when you travel the bus, you know, especially long distance.

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I was going on a vacation and it was uh.

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Uphill, downhill road. And they were like full of people and some kids, you know, high school kids jumping to bus and one kids sat next to.

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Me. And somehow, since I'm already nervous of that from that atmosphere, I'm still having some withdrawal symptoms. You know, bus is most common trigger for smoking because everybody getting, getting everybody waiting to get off the bus, you know, so they can smoke.

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And that is my first.

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Trip since I stopped smoking.

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And some kids sat next to me, and I had a feeling that he.

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Took a part of my seat.

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And I don't know. I don't want to say all the things that went through my mind that I mentally sent to that.

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Kid, you know.

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And then desire to smoke.

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You know, they're just firing up, firing up and I'm trying to use my tools.

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To ease the anxiety, you know, and at some point I just said to myself, look Rad.

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It's not easy. I do feel uncomfortable.

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And I don't have an answer.

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To this how to deal with this now?

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But I know one thing.

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20 minutes earlier I didn't have these feelings and I'm.

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Not know, I don't know.

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How long these feelings gonna last?

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But they have to end.

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I don't have an answer how to how to quickly and eliminate it.

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And when I confess to myself, you know, I don't have to. I don't know how. I don't know how to deal with this exact situation. The anxiety, the craving, everything disappear.

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And then I figured out that I was taking part of that kid's seat. He wasn't invading my space. I was invading his.

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And I and I look at him and I said I apologize and move a little bit. You know, I see. And I was like.

::

The whole situation lasted probably 10 minutes, but for me in that state it feels like it felt like it was.

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Three hours, you know.

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Yeah, I think I covered a lot.

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I think you did. Do you feel like when you're when you're stopping, when you're giving up cigarettes or quitting alcohol or any of those things that you find, if you embrace it

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Different identity like you talk about lions being.

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Life without life of a non-smoker so.

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Right.

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That it's different as a non-smoker.

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Or a non drinker? Because they're people. Every I know with alcohol, I recently embraced sobriety, myself and.

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I'm still around people that drink all the time. I don't personally like want alcohol anymore. I made a conscious decision to set it aside because it wasn't benefiting me in my life and who I was becoming so.

::

In that in that way, I was wondering if you found that.

::

Identifying as a non-smoker even though you're surrounded by people who are smoking, if that doesn't help you process when those urges show up, and sometimes they do, you know it's just like you know, I could, I could do that, but I choose not to. It's like.

::

Yeah, yeah.

::

Look, we tend to tie to tie our identity to things we do.

::

You know.

::

I had in high school I have a I had a class philosophy.

::

And the teacher said Professor said, you know.

::

Who we are. True. Who we truly are is when we get home.

::

Take off the clothes.

::

Get their sweatpants, sweatshirt and sit.

::

In front of TV.

::

Through entire day we play some roles that.

::

Are somehow tied to, so it's not an identity, it's a role.

::

Life of a non-smoker.

::

I choose acronym LIONS to hide that non-smoker because our brain doesn't process NO’s. negations. Don't.

::

Don't think about pink umbrella.

::

Don't think about pink umbrella. You know trunk of an elephant.

::

Elephant that don't think about elephant that dance on beach ball. You know what's the first thing? First thing you think about?

::

But if I tell you think about Sandy Beach in Florida, you know that's different. So I hide that clients.

::

That ‘non-smoker’ in the in the LIONS acronym and as part of the process we.

::

Going through NLP method creating goal through identity.

::

So what's the persona that I choose

::

In that life, you know, I want to help, so I become Coach Rad

::

You know, I mean, I don't have to think about. Yeah. Thank you. I didn't think about it. OK, I will. Yeah.

::

And or a ‘rad coach’.

::

I could use.

::

That in my future.

::

Rad! Call my coach. OK, so great. So basically, you know.

::

Let's say let's you OK you can you have children. You know. Remember when they were like, four or five years old when they play? I don't know. Spiderman or cowboy or.

::

They really believe they are cowboy or man in their mind, they are.

::

You know, we see kids, but those kids are saving the world, you know? So as long as they're in that movie, they will, they will behave as a cowboy or Spiderman or Superman. Or in my case, Batman, you know, Batman, my, my persona and body.

::

So in this way you know.

::

If you when we when we.

::

When we defining the goal when we want to achieve a goal, when we when we creating that avatar, that identity of person that

::

Is going to achieve that.

::

Life, you know, we go through the process, you know.

::

What is that person is doing?

::

What values? What strategies does he use?

::

What beliefs and values they have, you know?

::

And who are they in their process, you know?

::

You know there's like people there. Uh, I don't know that movie, like Sylvester Stallone, Sylvester Stallone, that old movie, you know, Over The Top. Remember that movie? It was brief production. He's like a arm wrestler.

::

You know.

::

No, no, no, not Rambo.

::

He's like a truck driver that goes in Las Vegas, Las Vegas to play Arm, Arm wrestling, you know, so he can.

::

Buy a new.

::

I missed that one.

::

Yeah, it was really, you know, in a Communist superstar, we usually got beef production from United States, OK.

::

So anyway, he's saying he say he has dialogue. You know, when he gets on a uh ring with other fighter with other wrestler, he has a cap baseball cap.

::

And when he turns it sideways.

::

He becomes a machine, you know.

::

So in this case, you know who are you in your life as a non-smoker, you know you know, some people say, you know I'm bad as Buddha and.

::

Sly says, you know, I'm a machine, you know, because it's.

::

It's kind of.

::

Hard to remember all that techniques at once, but then you become that persona. You have that abilities anyway you know and.

::

You asked me.

::

You hang out with that people, you know who, who, for example, who smoke or drink, you know.

::

In the beginning, it's not easy, but it's doable. The thing is, you know when I was.

::

I stopped drinking before I stopped smoking.

::

And it was easier than stopping smoking. You know, I was always, you know, 99% of people here drink, you know. And then when they go out, go out. Not everyone are Alcoholics, but a lot of people drink, you know, probably you have that in the United States and.

::

So you know, when I when I.

::

Started going out.

::

With friends you know?

::

They got drunk really quickly and then when you see all that drunk people, you know in their head something heard something is happening. But most of them just, you know, doing this on loud music, you know, talking.

::

Stupid things and everything you know and.

::

When you're sober.

::

You see all.

::

Of that, you know.

::

Sometimes it's kind of annoying.

::

So I.

::

Yeah. So I realized, you know, I remember something. You know, I was believing that I started to believe that I'm not fun if I'm not drinking. OK, so that's believed that actually keeps you drinking. You know, here we can we can buy alcohol as minors.

::

Bars. So in small towns, bars live from high.

::

School kids, you know?

::

In small town, you know you either get married after high school or college, or you go somewhere else to live.

::

Like you know.

::

And bars live from basically from high school kids. So.

::

So I was believing that I'm not fun, that I'm not able to have fun if I don't have.

::

Alcohol in my body, and cigarettes and.

::

Since and in that period of time I was working with my doctor, my psychologist, who sadly passed away last year.

::

And I told her how.

::

I feel and she told me this.

::

Uh. She asked me do I have a or orange, orange or lemon in the house? I said I have lemon.

::

OK, get lemon, get knife and get the bowl, you know.

::

OK, so I took a half lemon. I took a bowl and you know, we were like this on camera.

::

And she OK, hold the lemon above the glass. OK, hold the glass. And then she said, OK, make me an orange juice.

::

And I was like.

::

I cannot make orange juice.

::

And I said I cannot make orange juice. Well why can’t you?

::

Because this is a lemon and I was like ohh you know.

::

If you're fun, you're fun no matter what.

::

You maybe just feel shy before you start telling jokes in the bar because you are conditioned from early age that you know bar you have certain behavior that starts with drinking. You know you are anchored.

::

Your anchor your trigger to feel fun with drinking alcohol.

::

So when I realized that, I said look.

::

I can have fun with my friends, regardless of whatever.

::

And eventually they're going to become annoying and boring as hell, you know? Then I feel that.

::

And that I'm uncomfortable. I can go home.

::

And you could still drive yourself. Yeah, exactly.

::

Not like them.

::

Especially when I'm is in a small town like my home is.

::

10 minutes from everything you know I'm walking.

::

Everywhere you know.

::

And I was.

::

Like OK and then I started going out again.

::

Thankfully the non alcoholic beer.

::

Uh started showing up in a bars, you know, because I was so sick of drinking mineral water and sodas and everything. You know, those things are actually worse than beer itself.

::

Yeah, they are, yeah.

::

When they started selling, started selling. Finally, non alcoholic beers. You know, I was relieved because I really like the taste, you know, of beer. You know, I was, like, relieved. Thank you, you know, and I was. And I was start joking with my friends, you know, look, I'm going to be a camera.

::

When we go out, you get drunk and I will count you and tell you what you were like when you were drunk and what.

::

You were doing.

::

I was joking. Of course. Eventually we go.

::

We all got get got older, you know, some friends got family, you know, we stopped going out, you know. Now we hang out in the.

::

Houses, you know.

::

So the need for alcohol for me is lower. It's only funny when I go to my friends. You know, if there's some non alcoholic beer left, you know they pack me up and say take this with you, you know, and I said.

::

And that was like, you know, you know, I can feel uncomfortable, you know, I say.

::

Look, man, you, you know, I will come again. You know, keep it in your house. And my friend says my best friend told me once. You know, man, what am I going to do with it? What am I going to do with this? What? You know, make a cocktail, put some beer.

::

And a whiskey.

::

You know, OK, I just want to say you can.

::

You can turn anything everything in your favor. Just reframe, you know.

::

Yeah, reframing is important.

::

So your book is coming out soon, or is it out already?

::

My book, my book is coming out soon. It's finished in a Serbian.

::

It will be.

::

Called Crush the Grip of Nicotine: Break The Chains Of Addiction.

::

Uh, then? Uh. When I finish when? Yeah, in the next two weeks, I thinkit should be translated in English.

::

And uh, I will post it on uh, publish it on Kindle on Amazon and hopefully you know.

::

Well, hopefully not. Hopefully when it's published, believe I'm going to, you know, start creating even bigger impact.

::

This is.

::

When people hear this, it'll be February already. So your book will be available on your website and we can.

::

Yes, yes, yes, yes, it will be available in February. Ohh it will probably have thousands of copies sold by then. Yeah, yeah.

::

Leave a link to that there.

::

Uh, yes, it will be available on my website. It will be available on Amazon Print on Demand and Kindle. And by that time.

::

Yeah, yeah. I have a friend who works as a freelancer, as a narrator, narrator, narrator. He will read the book, and if I like his, if I haven't heard him in English yet, we just met recently.

::

Yeah, he will probably do the.

::

The our audio book for me, you know.

::

That's wonderful. That's wonderful.

::

I don't know how people react on my on my, on my voice.

::

Your voice is really good as I.

::

Was telling you before we got started.

::

Your English is excellent I.

::

I have so much admiration for people that.

::

Learn a second or third or fourth or fifth language.

::

Yeah, I also, I also recommend people to try to learn second language. You know you have those applications and Duolingo and everything not because you need it. Most people don't need second language. Really it's because your mental health, you know.

::

Alzheimers, neural connection and everything you know, you can even get in a funny situation like I did. I downloaded the application to learn Chinese.

::

And of course, you know, Chinese is complex. I learned a few phrases, for example, good day. How are you, Sir? And I learned that phrase. I forget. I don't know how to say that. And I went to a local.

::

Chinese store, owned by Chinese, we have we have people coming from China here opening businesses.

::

And I.

::

Greeted him in my in my beautiful Chinese and his reaction was.

::

I said he's like this and I said.

::

Hu I. His name is Hu

::

I was learning Chinese and Ohh and he has he asked. He asked me.

::

What have you tried to say? And I said I want to say hello, how are?

::

You, Sir? Ah, you don't say that the way that way. And then he pronounced it.

::

And what I was saying and what he was saying, he was, it was like apples and.

::

Oranges, you know.

::

And I said forget about.

::

It you know, but it was fun, you know few.

::

I spent few months to.

::

Learning to pronounce wrong.

::

Wrong. But you know, reframing.

::

But it's an experience that you have to share now and a story. Yeah. So what's the one thing you want to leave the audience with today? Rad.

::

I wanna.

::

What? I'm saying what I have learned. You know, when you when you speak, when I speak to people about stopping smoking, changing your life, when you stop smoking. I actually think about changing your life.

::

Stopping smoking becomes really small. Look if this is a picture. If this is a picture of our life. So I'm showing for those in podcast. I'm showing the frame of image with my fingers the stopping smoking is just a small segment but somehow.

::

I want to say that.

::

Stopping smoking is not just recovery.

::

It's a self improvement.

::

It's a self growth.

::

It's a psychological and personal and professional growth.

::

Now imagine how other people do you know how.

::

Much discipline you need to be a smoker.

::

It comes natural to you. I was getting up in 2:00 in the morning.

::

In the middle of the Blizzard and walked.

::

To gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes.

::

Put that determination in your coaching business.

::

And see what you can do so.

::

In my work I want to tell people it doesn't matter if you're stopping smoking, you changing your grocery list, or you're starting a coaching business or.

::

Starting a business or starting a family.

::

You're getting rid of. You're changing old habits.

::

To bring new one to grow.

::

Getting rid of addiction is self improvement.

::

The other self development, yes, that's the word. Obviously it's a self development. So I invite people who want to work with me and just want to stop smoking. They don't need to come if they want to do just the.

::

The least thing we're going to do.

::

Is stopping smoking everything else?

::

So building that persona.

::

Bringing out that persona that you have in you.

::

Like the lemon juice and anchor it and putting to work.

::

To go to.

::

Your lighthouse.

::

That's so great.

::

I I'm so glad you're doing what you're doing, and I really appreciate you coming on and sharing with me tonight.

::

Thank you for inviting me.

::

It's real honor, real pleasure and.

::

I felt really comfortable.

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About the Podcast

The You World Order Showcase Podcast
changing the world with one coach at a time.
Featuring life, health & transformation coaches being the change they want to see in the world! Listen in as they share what they are doing to make the world a better, kinder and more sustainable place for us all as they navigate the journey between coach and entrepreneur. And share their expertise to make your life better in the process.

Jill Hart - The Coach's Alchemist &
Host, You World Order Showcase Podcast
Contact: https://hartlifecoach.com
Join our community: https://facebook.com/groups/theyouworldorder
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Jill Hart

The Coach's Alchemist & host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast is dedicated to empowering life, health and transformational coaches being the change they want to see in the world. Join our private community, where you will find support, networking & collaboration, get featured on our podcast and we also provide coaching to help you find clients with podcasts. It all starts with joining our community! (it's free)
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