Tess Vergara - Making Decisions for Soul Growth
In this intuitive episode, Tess Vergara explores soul-powered coaching, emphasizing holistic integration for personal growth. The discussion delves into the metaphysical soul, healing the ego, and the transformative power of conscious decision-making in self-discovery and realization of potential.
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Transcript
Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we have with us Tess Verga.
::Is that right?
::Vergara, sorry. And I had you pronounce it in everything.
::I apologize, Vergara. She is a transformational coast coach and a podcast host Tess’ Soul powered executive coaching heels and reconciles the inner conflicts between the mind and the heart and the soul and the ego. Welcome to the show, Tess. I'm really glad that you're here. I've been looking forward to chatting with you again.
::Me too. So glad to be here. Thank you for inviting me.
::So tell us all about this soul powered coaching. But what is it? How did?
::Yeah. So.
::There's a lot of coaches I got into coaching and we all have both through the process of.
::First realizing our belief systems.
::Maybe limiting us and hindering us in actually working against our own highest good and our highest potential. And then we come into awareness of that and the recognition and then we empower ourselves to create the reality that we want.
::Now it's amazing it's there's a collective uprising out there.
::And yet, we've never been taught this. We've never been really given an opportunity to play with our divinity.
::And so power for me is normalizing that part of us that's divine. That's part of us. That's a creator.
::And it's going from intellectualizing it understanding it, recognizing it intellectualizing it into real embodiment, like giving yourself full permission is physicalized our soul into our bodies. And that's where I'm coming in with soul powered coaching.
::I love that.
::And it is true that there are a lot of coaches out there and everybody does something slightly different. So it's like you may think that there's a whole bunch of people out there doing stuff.
::Like what you're doing. But it's all different than what you're doing. So if you're thinking about becoming a coach.
::There's lots of room.
::Yes, yes. And we are all meeting our clients needs where they are you know so and we all have unique divine gifts.
::I'm just fulfilling mine and So what yours look like is gonna look totally different than yours and mine, Jill.
::Yeah. And I love that you're.
::You're helping people.
::Find the balance and the harmony between mind and heart because they're.
::So diametrically opposed. And you know, for the longest time we went along thinking that, you know, whatever you thought about that was that was who you are. That's really not. And people are starting to understand that we think and feel with our hearts and our hearts are a different kind of brain for our body. And they it gives off.
::Information that we need to really tap into and then the soul and the ego.
::It's kind of.
::Maybe it's sort of the same, but.
::Yeah. When? When? When people read that on my website, they're like.
::Can you really heal the ego? Because we've been taught we are supposed to disown our ego.
::And anything the ego says, we need to, you know, put a sock in it and totally just tell it to.
::And that's not the soul powered method.
::That's not the.
::Approach I take we need to allow the ego to mature so that it plays with the soul and together in unison, in oneness, in harmony we can achieve our wholeness or we're not fragmented. We're not fighting within ourselves, we're not. Ohh, I'm going to do this and the next thing you know you.
::Went totally different. Uh, you know direction.
::And because of that internal conflict or misunderstanding between the soul and the ego, between our physical.
::And spiritual.
::Used to think, and I still wonder if the ego isn't really largely our subconscious.
::A piece of our subconscious, I guess, is more accurate way to put it, but it's the child that the child programming that we develop as we're growing up.
::I agree. I agree. It's a lot of it is subconscious and what is?
::And what's important in our work, you know the coaches work is bringing to light, bringing to consciousness what was once unconscious. So once we become aware of our patterns, once we become aware of our hurts.
::Do we still want to continue with that kind of behavior? Do we still want to continue with that limited vision for ourselves?
::Or do we want to grow and expand and?
::Actually step into the fulfillment of our soul potential.
::So the ego can get in the way if it's unintegrated.
::So if the ego is.
::John disown denied.
::Oh, you.
::Bed. It creates shadows, it creates a lot of soul anguish because we're not enjoying.
::The soul fulfillment. We are here. It's our divine inheritance, our own light. And we don't get to see it and enjoy it and explore it.
::If we're run by the ego and we don't think we're run by the ego because we've denied it.
::Right.
::But it's there, it's self sabotaging, it shows up. It balloons when you least expect it. It's all the hurt and it absolutely, it's the hurt in her child that never got to grow up.
::Yeah. And so many people wander around through life.
::With that wounded child at the control levers of whatever they're trying to accomplish in life, and it sabotages you when you least expect it, jump out at you.
::And there's a lot of work to the healing of the ego, and healing means really integration, right? Bringing, bringing it back to the whole remembering, remembering parts of ourselves that we disowned or have not discovered yet. So it's gold.
::Dark and light shadows that are hidden. So when we don't go into and face where our shame is, because we, you know, we hide in shame.
::Our deepest, deepest, darkest secrets, but underneath that shame is also the joy and the and the gifts that you need. Divine gift that we have we can't fully access.
::Until we bring the ego.
::Back into wholeness and again the ego can mean so many things to so many people. But in for me, it's what Jill exactly said. It's to hurt the woundedness anywhere you decided you are unworthy.
::Or helpless.
::We're powerless. Those are the things that are run by fear, run by ego. And what's fueling the ego, really, into distortion is the fear, you know.
::So lots of.
::We can take this conversation so many ways, Jill.
::Yeah, there's so much as far as just like healing. But acknowledging the wounds and not staying trapped in them. And then.
::I remember an experience I had when I was in my 20s, maybe not even in my 20s. I might have been just late teens where I was trying to come to terms with. Where does the soul reside in our bodies? And this was long before I knew about.
::The body soul connect or the body mind connection. I was all about. You know, there's the brain. And that was really all I could piece out. But do you think that the soul actually exists in the heart?
::Or do you absolutely.
::Not right away, I don't think. Or at least there's a disconnect.
::So until we open our heart, we don't get to access our very soul. It feels like for me, it was like when I would imagine my soul before it was like there's a thread like a balloon. The balloon is right over there.
::And I'm hanging to my soul just by a piece of thread. That's how I felt or experienced my soul, because it was so out of reach. Like my whole future, my whole potentialities. And that's what my soul is to me. The soul power.
::It's so, so far away.
::Out of reach that I have to pull the thread slowly 1 by 1 allowing integration of body, mind, spirit.
::And then when I feel whole and really strong and my.
::My energy uncompromisable.
::I can then allow for the soul to fully reside in the physical, whether that's happening in my imagination because really, is there a location when we're talking energy?
::Right.
::No, it exists and it doesn't. It's like particles it behaves differently.
::Yeah, it's quantum consciousness.
::Right.
::It's just in my upbringing, soul God or those are the words that bring me comfort and that I'm familiar with and others can resonate with universe. Others can resonate with the highest nature.
::And all those are in our soul qualities.
::That are unique to me.
::And unique to you, so all the upbringing and that's why when we bring light to what was what we were unaware and unconscious of before we bring it to light.
::Wow, right. And then we go back and embrace the ego because the ego is where are ohh eccentricities of that? That's our we can't make wrong our ego. But when we bring the ego and hold us with our soul, body, mind and spirit.
::Then that uniqueness becomes so.
::You know, individual like the we can never ever worry about comparison about being that good enough or the impostor syndrome, because we've embraced all of us, including the ego and our soul and our soul qualities and the soul qualities is the divine qualities.
::That you and I have access to.
::But sometimes you know my maybe my voice.
::My need for harmony, my gift of order and organizing things. That's a lot more stronger than others. So from an accounting brain, going back to you know, the transcendence of the ego and then going back and embracing our ego qualities.
::I have to go back and pick up where my accountant brain was.
::Because I made it wrong before.
::Accountant brain. You made me burn out.
::All you know about is control, control, control.
::But then when I.
::Found my healing, I said, come back to your controller self in the financial controller and I can't run my business.
::Without you.
::And you really can't help others without all of the gifts that make up who you are.
::No matter who you are, then that's probably why this healing is so important.
::To really be able to embrace all of the different aspects of.
::Of you who you were born to be.
::Right. And before it was like be humble, you know, don't brag.
::Don't claim something that you know that's just the ego. Talk that as a matter of fact, it is actually your gift. You are aware of that gift.
::But made wrong and demonized.
::Because there's a lot of trauma.
::That has not been dealt with, but once you deal with all of that, you're stronger in embracing all those quirks and all those talents that have lay dormant.
::Without your exploration and acceptance of it, we need to accept that we are divine human being, unlimited potential.
::And they're not all going to come.
::Right away in the present moment, because we haven't given it permission to flourish and bloom.
::And as you walk through that process, you more and more things become open to you and you become aware of the potential for them.
::Find that.
::Yeah, and. And then you, you go back and reassess, you go back and recalibrate. You go back. Oh, my goodness. There's another threshold here. And you're aware of the patterns that was once blocking your way.
::Or still, but you're aware of it and you can do something about it. You can ask for help. There's no more shame in asking for help.
::You can do more things with confidence other than saying, oh, this is not going to work. Boom. Your, your, your energy just diminish.
::When you think of those prior limiting beliefs.
::And the key decisions that have operated.
::Without your knowing, because they are all happening subconsciously, but once you become aware of your patterns, they're still there. You just don't agree with it anymore. I can do something else like I still want to run away sometimes, but once I feel that pattern in my body, I have the wires. Ohh my goodness. I'm doing that pattern all over again.
::And without judgment, without self criticism, without saying, oh, you should have known better.
::I just readjust my focus.
::And remind myself, through visioning and all that process of looking back at my planner. Oh yeah, this is what we want. Not that.
::And it's really.
::As simple as just making a decision, a decision to think about things differently, to choose to.
::Recognize when you're having.
::You know, pattern problems.
::Right, right. And decision means to cut away, right? To cut away. What are you cutting away from? So once you make a decision, it's amazing how now you can tap into the wonders of the universe and all of a sudden. Oh, my.
::God, I must be.
::You must have made the right decision because boom, it's all happening at the same time. You can really feel the support.
::And the of the universe. Yeah, right there. There's a code about that. The universe conspires with you to make.
::That which you decided to do happen because now you're clear, now you're open now you're willing. Now you're stepping into what it is that.
::Before you didn't know, you were denying yourself.
::You don't know, right? And now that you've decided, OK, whatever it is that I didn't know about me, I'm here to explore. I'm here to bring to life. And it's amazing when we make that kind of decision.
::You were talking earlier. You're talking about remembering, and that word hit me.
::It's talking about members.
::Members of your body members parts member is a part and remembering is bringing the parts back together.
::Yes, exactly. That's exactly it. We've forgotten we were.
::Under the spell of amnesia, we forgot because we were trying to get by. We're trying to please our parents. We didn't want to get spanked as a kid we developed.
::A character, right? But we thought.
::Straw man.
::We thought that's who we are and that's, you know, I'm oh, I'm a comedian or I'm an accountant. And we thought that's exactly who we're meant to be in the world.
::But that's just one phase of our lives. That's just one story of our life. That's just one chapter. And when we become rigid and self protective of that identity, we miss out on the wholeness, the remembrance.
::Of all that we are.
::And there's so much empowerment when you can just let go and just be.
::Who you are.
::And it stops flying. It's so hard to try trying is the hardest thing ever.
::Because you don't get anywhere, you're just spending energy.
::And that's why I love what he said. It's in the decision. You decide. Boom. There's so much power in that decision making.
::However, if we're not clear on what we want.
::It happened to me where I experienced myself not knowing who I was anymore. I experienced my.
::Not knowing where to go anymore as an empty nester that can happen to a lot of people because we get used.
::To a certain role in life.
::But what we do is we personalize it so much, or at least I'll speak for myself. I personalized it so much.
::And thinking that.
::Who am I? This is the end of the world for me. I might not as well be here if I'm not going to be useful to society without my children. I am nothing. Those were the limiting words, limiting labels that I attached to myself. And just because I didn't know any better.
::You know, it wasn't that long ago when people looked at women who were in their 40s and thought, you know, you're over the hill, you're an old lady. And I look at, I have a 40 year old daughter. And just like man.
::Still a baby. She's got so much life ahead of her and all my friends that are in their 50s and 60s who are just now stepping into who they really are and embracing.
::The power that they have, it's it gives me goosebumps. It's just so.
::Exciting to me.
::Yeah. So the so again, that's the ego identity I was explaining when and that was when I was 40, when I experienced my first depression.
::Oh, I'm going to turn 40 and I'm already a few. My kids were still young when I was 40, but I was already way ahead and worrying about 10 years from now when I empty nest and my employer at that time said to me, you better start seeing the therapist now.
::Your message.
::Because you're already worried and stuck in a in a rut right now, you need to live your life. And I didn't know what he was talking about. I was just so attached to my role as a single mother, as a provider, and that that was the world I circled.
::And embraced. Until that word world crashed and deconstructed and had to build myself back.
::It doesn't have to be a scary process and I love that coaching and personal development is so mainstream right now. Everyone can access this information. But where I'm coming at with soul power is.
::The danger of too much self improvement.
::That we're.
::Way out of our what our soul is here to do. So in manifestation process, a lot of people say ohh you can do, you can manifest whatever you want. You manifest your highest good.
::So if it's not in your highest good to be this or that person.
::It's not going to happen is you're manifesting what you are here as a seed of potential. What you are here to fulfill in this world, and that's your unique mark.
::Right here. And that's your unique soul power.
::That's going to blossom.
::Interesting. So are you saying that if you aren't really?
::Destined to.
::Have the things that you want or to identify in a certain way that if it's not part of your soul's destiny that it won't happen but.
::If it's not in your highest good.
::So our I believe we have a say in how our destiny shapes up our thoughts, our emotions, our behavior, all shape our destiny. And then if it's limiting us. So let's say and we win $1,000,000 tomorrow.
::Is that necessarily for my highest good or am I?
::Going to go lazy.
::And not fulfill my potential just because I have $1,000,000 in the bid.
::I don't know.
::Would you? I don't think I would.
::So that's.
::Yeah. So that's the perspective. So am I ready for that $1,000,000 now. So we know of a lot of people who manifested the Lamborghini only to find out they don't have money to pay for the gas.
::Right. So it's not a sustainable?
::Saying and what happens next, right? So their energy goes down or they make another belief upon the belief that those things don't happen. I must not be good enough. I must not be worthy. And then it perpetuates that kind of mentality into our present reality.
::So it's step, it's step by step, it's step by step. If it's in your awareness, you know for me before.
::My belief in men.
::Had to evolve with my opening and willingness and readiness.
::The men in my life also involved, because I was involving, so it doesn't mean that I'm I I'm not meant to have a man in my life. It just means.
::Am I ready for that? Is it in my high? So we are being also we are being given.
::Places, people and events in our life to actually reach that, but it doesn't happen right away because you haven't. So there's a whole lot of things that that are you in alignment with your highest good.
::Amelia versus arranging things around for you. And sometimes it takes a minute.
::It does, yeah, yeah.
::It always exists as I think everything exists.
::All at the same time.
::But you.
::And which?
::Yeah. Which parallel universe are you going to allow into the present reality? Right. So at first that that kind of thinking was ohh like, what are you talking about?
::But the more you play into this possibilities, the more you see it, you can connect it. Yeah. Yeah. That was within my power to have chosen that. But I didn't because I was so afraid I was doing this. But then again.
::It's perfect because I was ready for this, and if not for that, I wouldn't have.
::Done this so it's.
::All happening simultaneously in simultaneity and happening, and it's so cosmic it's mind blowing really it.
::If it's for your highest good, then it is going to happen. That's for me. But. And if it's not here yet.
::It's because we're in the physical reality. It takes time to go like, OK, I want Kentucky fried chicken. That's our thought, right. So how's that gonna manifest? I have to go outside of this office.
::Down the stairs start my car.
::Go to the store and buy Kentucky fried chicken. It takes time. The process of physicalize.
::And because this reality is dense.
::It takes time.
::Have you seen that movie?
::I'm probably going to screw the title up.
::Everything, everywhere, all at once.
::No, it's a great movie. It's.
::Yeah, yeah.
::It's. It's about what we're talking about. That the thing that was so encouraging to me is the woman, the main character, she had the most potential.
::Because she hadn't actually completed anything.
::At the point where she was.
::Kind of picked.
::To fix the problems in the universe.
::Which was kind.
::Of the plot of the story. But.
::It was.
::I strongly recommend you watch it it's.
::It's long, but it's really good.
::That it's all about.
::Everything that exists in.
::In the world.
::In reality.
::And on the timelines.
::And how they interact and how switching timelines?
::Affects other things and your relationships and.
::There's some humor to it. Jamie Lee Curtis is in it, and I wish I could remember the names of the other people. But she is hilarious. She was.
::Oh, OK.
::Yeah. So I really, it's all there our.
::How we bring it in and that's why I say we do have a say in what we bring in here. It's not just some predestined destiny. We have a say on how that's going to show up. So if I say I'm good right now, I'm good. This is what I want and that's going to happen. That's OK and that's.
::Fine, right. But then if you have the steering in your heart and this is where.
::UMI come in if there's a restlessness in you that says I am meant to be more.
::And that's where I come in as a coach is, let's look at your life purpose. Let's look at what you've done so far. Let's look at what's blocking you from even looking and investigating. What is that soul steering?
::Inside of you, because we, I know my the messaging for me when I was a kid was just be content. You have a roof.
::Over your head, you have a good job. What more do you want? And that was the messaging. I got that once I got a good job. I'm set for life and it's not true. And that was the conflict, the anguish that I had to go through was.
::All of a sudden I couldn't.
::Power myself up. My willpower got limited, so if these are things that are happening to you that all of a sudden you're wanting something when you should be happy with your own life.
::Honor that process. That's your higher calling you.
::So do you work with people one-on-one or do you?
::Work with them in groups.
::How does that look?
::Both I work one-on-one with my private clients and mostly business owners, executives change makers.
::That know what I want and I love working with executives because they are not shy about doing things.
::Right, they're, they're overachievers. They know that they have a unique mark in the world and they're.
::To do it.
::Except when they're not clear or there's a trauma or there's blockages and they, you know, kind of like, what happened to me all of a sudden, I couldn't willpower myself to do something. I was procrastinating. I burned out, pushing, pushing, pushing and all that. So yes, one-on-one and group I.
::The business coach for SBA Thrive Program for, you know, it's a program by Small Business Administration. So I facilitate their CEO cohorts.
::And of course, they get a little bit of soul power coaching from me on our this year. We offered a half. I shouldn't say this year it ended the program ended last year in December.
::It used to be group coaching with me and then it turned into half our coaching calls with me and they got me for two half hour sessions on top of the CEO conversations that we meet on regularly. And so that's amazing. And I also am now a part of floor room.
::Where I created a group for women. It's called uh radiant.
::Women in business. And so it's a support group, but also a coaching.
::A group.
::Coaching format, where we come together as a.
::Group of women.
::And talk about what's going on in our life and what are the blocks that we're stumbling upon and where do we want to take?
::Female feminine power. Radiant women in business kind of thing because.
::There's a lot of programming that exists that we didn't know about that we just took on as part of our identity.
::But it's.
::A programming cultural.
::Even ancestral.
::Yeah. And it's really a thing.
::Lot of breaking down, yeah.
::You really need to grab hold of so.
::It sounds like you work mostly with people who are executives or who are building a business. Is that?
::Yeah, they are small business owners.
::If you come to me and ask me how I can build a business from scratch.
::And you want strategies and stuff. I will have resources for you. Like the SBA program and go there.
::Right. But if you come to me and say I've done all the training I've done, the SBA thrive program and I'm still failing test, can you help me figure it out? What I'm you know. How? How do I get my shift together?
::That's me. We can talk about strategies. We can talk about accountability. We can talk about emotional clearing.
::We can talk about ego, soul integration and that is a huge part that's happening right now that we all need to step into our highest authentic selves. And if we are still playing small and if we're still contracting our energy, if we're resolving the love that we.
::Are because of the past hurts.
::And experiences that says, you know, stay in your own life, kind of kind of message, stay in your own lane. You know, leave it to the experts. Do you are being called to be an expert in your own life?
::And so where you've been controlled to do things a certain way, you are in being invited to break free from that and really explore into who are you really, what are your gifts to the world and what are you avoiding in life. And those are the tough things that we're going to talk about in a coaching situation I.
::So I have a quiet yesterday and without.
::Revealing identity and that you know, business owners and stuff, severely sexually traumatized.
::And she asked me at the beginning, yes.
::How do you create boundaries?
::You know, in sex.
::When you're sexually traumatized. So we talk about talking about, you know, process. I allow I allowed her a whole lot of time and then I pieced it together for her.
::Then I asked her.
::Based on what you heard yourself say.
::Is it boundaries that's gonna help you right now or it's more exploration of who you are requesting sexually.
::And without the sexual creative, you know, in our sacral chakra, without that creativity balanced and harmonized.
::She's just creating. Yes, she's successful in business, but all the other areas in her life, her relationship.
::It's just going to keep regurgitating keep.
::Doing what it's doing, which is give her heartache.
::Yeah, because it's.
::And would then she would then with that, would she then be 100% for her business? She grew it to this level.
::The you know she. That's why she came to me. I feel like I'm gonna fall apart anytime soon and not be able to support my business.
::I feel out of control and I'm going to lose my business eventually because I don't have the mental capacity any longer. I am quick to anger.
::And why? Because something in her is out of balance. So that's just an example.
::Yeah, it's really a great example of why integrating everything together and.
::Putting it all back together.
::Can really help you have a more balanced and harmonious life, not necessarily balanced, but harmonious when the different parts of who you are can live together in harmony and work to create a beautiful energy rather than just.
::A balanced energy. When you listen to music, harmony is.
::Harmony creates a picture.
::For you it.
::It has colors. Balance is just like it keeps you from getting a headache when you're.
::Listening to it.
::Well, if you look at the yin and Yang, right, if you go 5050, it's actually a stuck energy because it's not moving. So it's not 50 balance, it's not 5050.
::Balance is one recognizing where your strengths are.
::And amplifying that.
::Where your weaknesses are recognizing it getting help and when you get help and allow others to others to contribute to you.
::Then now you have a balance.
::But doesn't mean that you're always efforted to find that balance, you're just, you know, kind of like the Symphony. Sometimes it's the base, sometimes it's the guitar, sometimes it's the it's the vocals, there's balance and harmony there, allowing all parts of you to shine.
::And not be.
::You know.
::I was going to make a reference to income statements and financial or balance sheets.
::Yes, and that's where this come and for me, right. It's I come from.
::One is.
::Financial controller background and you know, reconciling balancing to the penny, that's me.
::To allow for that completeness and integrity.
::I tell you.
::A lot of.
::Bookkeepers out there right off a penny.
::That I've seen situations where that penny.
::There's a balance sheet item and an income stated item and when it's not reconciled, it's distorted.
::So what are you going to create distortion?
::Or truth.
::That's what balancing is.
::Yes, I have a bookkeeper background myself and.
::I actually kept the books for Kitsap County in Washington state for a while.
::And my job was.
::To track down those pennies and I loved it, I.
::Counting is not math, it's problem solving, and it's a puzzle and you know.
::Analysis Yeah, a lot of analysis.
::One penny off could really be $99 one way and $99.00 or $98 the other way and.
::You're just like $1.00 off.
::Yeah, yeah. If you don't go to the growth of the transaction, it can be really off.
::It makes.
::Now there's a thing where if I find out the bank charge $20 and I booked this at 1999 and if I'm 100%, that's what we're the discrepancy is OK. I'll write off that one set, but I have to look at the root cause.
::Yeah, because often it can be a couple of transactions that just happen. Yeah, that.
::He washes.
::He just stay in the mouth.
::And the that.
::No, that's not enough. No, not necessarily true.
::That happens with life too.
::Especially in the world of digital. Now I can imagine, right?
::It happens in life too. You, you make decisions and you make other decisions, and sometimes they wash each other out, but they still have ramifications and implications in your life.
::They show up.
::Yeah, absolutely.
::Have a person who.
::Wouldn't speak up and would just.
::More respond to a situation than choose it.
::Yeah, he's not having fun. Yeah, and that's what we're working on. The communication piece and harmonizing and really bringing to wholeness the past that limited his voice otherwise.
::He's not in leadership role and when someone tells him what to do, he overreacts.
::Because he doesn't see himself as a leader, but he knows deep down inside from the soul level he is a leader. So, but his pattern is people pleasing, placating.
::And that and then it blows up in his face and.
::You know it's he's coming to a situation now where? And it's hard because he's been like that all his life and it's hard to change behavioral patterns. But with coaching, yeah.
::With coaching, you can do it and coaching also helps you interact with other people who aren't ready to accept your changes because it's not. It's not a matter of just you changing. You have other people who interact with you and expect certain behaviors out of you in certain situations.
::It's amazing.
::And when you're doing that inner work, you are changing and you're not acting the same way that you used to act, and you don't responding the same way that you're they're used to you responding. So you have to have some skills.
::Sets put in place and coaches really are good at helping with that too, so that you can navigate these new relationships.
::Yeah. And the thing though, right? He can choose to stay the same because his divine gift is relationships.
::Right social construct. That's his divine gifts. I can see that.
::But then he has to be OK with himself.
::When people take over his life for him.
::If that's a decision he has to make, and where is the balance in that? Those are the determinations that he needs to decide for himself. I can guide him, I can be the mirror for him and this is what you're doing that you're saying as ramifications in other areas of his life. And are you happy with it?
::You're happy with it right now.
::What else can we work on? Ohh, you're unhappy now? Great.
::Let's go. Let's Rolex that.
::Yeah. So whatever the client is ready for, we rate coaches, we don't decide their, their fates. We're here to support their vision and even in in a divorce situation you know where I'm coaching couples.
::I'm here for one client.
::You're my client.
::Your husband can come into the coaching sessions, but my priority is you.
::So it's, you know what I mean and.
::What is our goal?
::To prevent divorce or to actually make the divorce happen. Whatever it is, I am here for you. I am here for the results that you want.
::But of course.
::I connect the dots for them. Are you prepared for this kind of future? Are you prepared to lose this? And are you prepared to stand to step into more leadership because you don't have that any longer?
::So the choice to stay the same and stagnate totally in their hands or.
::Usually they work together because they.
::Heal the onions.
::And find fresh hope in the relationship when they see ohh.
::Sometimes, just knowing the consequences of some of the decisions that you're getting ready to make super helpful.
::I see.
::Super, super helpful. Yeah. Because like I said, we, we have that knee jerk patterns that we've known since childhood and that is our default and recreating a new default pattern.
::And ohh that's when I gave give my cell phone number to my clients during the six months we're working together. You having limited access to me? You can text me day or night.
::And it doesn't matter if I actually read their text.
::The fact that they texted me already broke their pattern.
::Created a whole new awareness.
::And it's funny too, that not a whole lot of my clients take advantage of that because they're executives, they're, you know, just clear the path for me. I'm doing it and.
::Thank you. I'm home.
::That's what soul powered executive coaching is. It's so fun. It's so fun.
::So how do people get in touch with you, Tess?
::Just go to my website at tessvergara.com. There's a lot of resources out there. There's a lot of information where the soul power uh method came from.
::Feel free to meander in there and gain a lot of insight and wisdom from.
::My own awakening from a dark night to.
::Empowerment and enlightenment.
::And we can't let you go without talking about your podcast a little bit. Test has a podcast. It's amazing. I got to be a guest on it. I really.
::Yes, it was an amazing yeah.
::Had a great time.
::And you can find.
::Those on her website also you can go listen to a few episodes.
::Yeah, that you'll find Jills on there. There's a podcast page on my website. Again, the website is tessvergara.com, and so if you go to test for.
::tessvergara.com
::Slash forward Slash podcast you'll find Jill's interview with me and that was phenomenal. Really phenomenal.
::So, Tess, what's the one thing you want to leave the audience with that you hope they take?
::Away from our conversation.
::You are not broken.
::And you are not separated from your highest good.
::And kind of like what Jill said, just decide that you.
::To serve your infinite potential, your God-given gifts.
::Everything that is already inside of you, you have access to that.
::But remember, you are not broken and you are meant to be more than that. So you know break free from the idea that we are broken because I suffered with that.
::A lot in my life, conflicting ideas that were not even mine.
::And, you know, discernment. Are you sinful or are you traumatized? So even that discernment alone. So the trauma brings us a whole lot of.
::Feeling of brokenness?
::But it doesn't mean you're.
::Tarnished for life, so you have the ability right here, right now to create your peace of heaven.
::And I'm here to support you if that is your decision.
::Thank you so much for joining us. This has been amazing.
